How to have the best sex life ever … with yourself!

Sex life with yourself

Ok ladies!  Single mothers, single women of the world, it’s time to reclaim your sex life, with yourself!

Oh yeah, you read me right. I’m talking about your very own, private sex life.  Even if you don’t have a lover around who can meet your needs right now, you can still be having some of the best sex of your life.

Our daily lives are often so busy that they get in the way of our most important relationship. One we should all have – our sexual relationship. Sex keeps us healthy and vital. It helps us to stay young and deepens our enjoyment of life.  But, in the process of taking care of others, our own needs often get left by the wayside. If we don’t take care of ourselves our sex life can fade, leaving us unsatisfied and closed to the joyful things in life.

So, how can we reclaim the best sex life ever?

Here are a few simple and fundamental ideas to rekindle the fire and keep it burning bright.

How to have the best sex life ever … with yourself!

Fall in love with yourself

The first step to having a fantastic, wonderful, unimaginable sex life with yourself is to fall in love with yourself.

You only have one body.  Claim it as one sexy bod!

Not only will this make you feel better on the inside, it will show on the outside too with that fabulous, ‘This is my body!’ glow.

Affirmations are a great way to stay in tune with this. One I like is:

“I love this ever-changing body which carries me through life.” 

This is a simple thing to do and it can make such a difference in how you see yourself.

Have one orgasm a day

Don’t get shy now. We all love touch. We all need it. One orgasm a day can keep the doctor at bay!

Plus, it brings a host of other benefits.  Daily orgasms relieve stress and help you to sleep better.  They make you live longer and keep your menstrual cycles regular.  I’ve also come to believe that if you orgasm on a regular basis, it may stop the drying process in the vaginal canal during and after menopause. And, on top of all these internal benefits, regular orgasms will keep your skin glowing as well.

Sometimes, our bodies become neglected, unnoticed and untouched. We become more vital and beautiful when we give ourselves loving and sensual attention. Just check out this YouTube video with Betty Dodson who calls herself the Professional Masturbator on SLUTEVER. She is 89, yep it’s true.

Indulge in a sex toy

Wanting some help with those orgasms?

Well, you can get all the help you need from online sex stores and the never-ending varieties of dildos, vibrators, wands, clitoral ticklers.

And why just stop at one? Variety is delicious, and there are all different shapes and sizes, colours and types to choose from. Some are even waterproof so you can take them in the bath with you.  Imagine that!  A hot bubble bath and an orgasm, mmmm.

I personally have a little kit underneath my bed for times when I need a bit of assistance.  Your toy will become your best friend in bed.  Trust me on that, ladies.

Further reading: Buying a vibrator: Beginners guide to buying the perfect sex toy.

Watch some porn

This is a topic that can hit a nerve with some women. Some may think that porn is wrong. That it’s degrading for women’s rights or that it’s made by men for men.

However, there’s actually a trend out there in porn-land where female producers are making great porn for women to watch and enjoy.  Sensual, connected, and sexy as you can imagine.

With porn, one has to understand that it’s only entertainment. Just a show. Porn is a little like fantasy but on the screen.  You may fantasise while watching porn that you are in that very scene.  Enjoy it for what it is, entertainment and a little help along the way.

How to Have the Best Sex Life Ever … With Yourself! (cont.)

Give yourself a sexy treat

There’s nothing better than giving and receiving gifts, right?  Why not give yourself a sexy gift?  Again, ain’t no one else around to do it for you.  So, what’s the right sexy gift for you?

  • You could indulge in some sexy underwear for yourself
  • Maybe you’re the literary type. You could go out and purchase some delicious erotica writings
  • Having a massage is a wonderful sexy treat, one that gives your whole body some deep relaxation
  • Receiving a mani-pedi treatment always makes me feel sexy again. I love getting bright colours on my toes.  It makes me happy to see them fresh and shining.
  • Go see that movie on the big screen with your favourite actor or actress. The goal is to pamper yourself, so don’t forget the popcorn and your favourite variety of choc top.
  • Put on those dancing shoes and get downright sexy doing Tango classes. Nothing like the cha-cha to get those sexy vibes happening. Dancing is a wonderful form of sexual self-expression and a great place to meet your next potential partner.
  • Or maybe you could really splash out on yourself and hire a male escort for a dinner date (or a bit more!). Nothing like a male treat to get those juices flowing. I indulged myself last year (you can read all about it here) and it was a wonderful experience on so many levels.  I feel that every woman should treat themselves to this at least once.

Go get a little touch intimacy

You can always take yourself along to a cuddle party or therapist.

Cuddle parties are where lots of other people just like you gather to share some intimacy and touch through the wonderful world of cuddling.  Or, you may want to opt for a more personal session with a one-on-one cuddle therapist.

We all need touch, especially single mums going it alone. It’s wonderful to be able to reach out and receive love and touch. Plus it will help you to relax deeply and relieve stress. Cuddling also releases those yummy oxytocin feel-good chemicals into the body.

Further reading: Coping with lack of intimacy when you’re single.

Make yourself a sexy date

We always make dates to see the doctor or dentist or to set up social meetings. But how often do we make a date with ourselves?  Some private time just for us, to feel good and make our bodies happy?  This is what I mean by doing something just for yourself on your own private self-date.

When the kids are finally sleeping, slip into that lingerie you bought for yourself.  Make some hot chocolate and get out that glorious new vibrator. Close the bedroom door to block out all worldly distractions.  Set the lap top on the X-rated movie or get out that juicy erotic literature. Get into bed and get ready to have the sexiest date with yourself ever. This is your very own sexy time, so make the most of it.

Indulge in yourself, your body, your own vessel for self-expression and sensuality.  You deserve it!

Give yourself the gift of a Yoni Massage

So, you might ask, what is a Yoni anyway?

Yoni is the Tantra term for a women’s genital area. A Yoni Massage is done by a practitioner like myself, someone who knows the art of touch and can awaken your body to new depths of feeling.  This session offers space for healing and brings profound pleasure.

It makes use of different touching techniques, letting you experience sensations you may never have experienced before. And don’t be fooled by the name. Attention is lavished on the entire body – the Yoni, the breasts, and everything else.  The Yoni Massage is deeply healing for the body’s sympathetic nervous system and gives you the ultimate in relaxation.

It’s a sensual experience and an overall treat.

single mother support


So, there you have it, a creative and colourful list to help you get back in touch with yourself and become the sexiest and most vibrant single mummy out there.

Sexual energy is a positive energy, healthy and incredibly attractive. When we are feeling our sexy selves, we glow. We radiate vitality and joy and become even more beautiful. The positive energy that we create within ourselves spreads to everyone around us.

So, let yourself shine bright.  Stay sexy ladies!

Sex life with yourself | Beanstalk Single Mums Pinterest

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About the author

Taranga, creator of Blissrising, is a practitioner of sensual erotic arts for men, women and couples. Taranga has years of experience in massage body-based therapies, including tantra massage, erotic massage and Bondassage. Her philosophy: touching the whole body in a loving and respectful way honours the body, activating its natural energy and allowing healing to take place.

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