The first year I knew I’d wake up to a quiet house on Christmas morning, I dreaded it for weeks. If you’ve typed “what to do on Christmas Day if I’m alone” into your phone late at night, you know that feeling. The day seems built for full tables, and making a plan just for you is one more job.
This guide is for mums spending some or all of the day without their kids. Maybe they’re at their other parent’s place, with grandparents or all grown up. Being alone with your kids is a different kind of Christmas, so this piece sticks to the kid-free hours.
Start with your handover times. Then pick two or three things you’d enjoy, like a slow breakfast, a swim or prepping your own Christmas with the kids. Add one way to connect with someone, and keep a support number handy in case the day dips.
Quick Takeaways
- Plan around the handover. The times the kids leave and come back shape your whole day, so build your plans around them.
- Pick a few anchors, not a full timetable. A walk, a good meal and one phone call give the day shape without turning it into a chore.
- Ask about volunteering early. A growing number of charities have more Christmas lunch helpers than they need, so ask in November or try aged care homes and animal shelters.
- Support is open on the day. Lifeline (13 11 14) and Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) both answer 24 hours a day, Christmas Day included.
This article is for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you are struggling, please reach out to a qualified professional or contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.
Start With Your Handover Time
Your handover times decide what kind of day you’re planning. A whole day on your own needs a different plan to a quiet afternoon.
If They’re Away All Day
Spread three small anchors through the day, so there’s always something coming up. That might be a swim at 8am, lunch with a friend at 1pm and a saved movie at 7pm. Long, empty afternoons tend to be the hardest stretch, so give that window a plan. Let the rest of the day stay loose.
If You Swap Around Lunchtime
Plan the hour straight after drop-off, because that’s often when it stings most. A walk from the handover spot or a coffee with a friend gives that hour somewhere to go.
What If They Arrive Later in the Day?
Then your alone time is the morning, the easy bit. Sleep in and get the house ready for when they burst through the door.
If you’re still working out who has the kids and when, sort it early. Planning the whole festive season well ahead takes pressure off the day itself. If handovers don’t feel safe for you or the kids, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. It’s open day and night.
Ideas for a Slow, Quiet Day at Home
A quiet day at home works best when it feels like a choice, not a waiting room.
The usual advice is to keep so busy you don’t think about the kids. Actually, that’s not quite right, or it wasn’t for me. Cramming every hour just made the handover sting more. A few good things, plus some room to feel what I felt, worked far better.
Some ideas that suit a slow day:
- Sleep in. Nobody’s checking the stockings at 5am.
- Make the breakfast you’d never make for fussy eaters.
- Start the series you’ve been saving, or a movie run with snacks.
- A puzzle, a craft or a big cook-up can swallow a happy hour or two.
- Run the long bath, then have a nap. Both count as plans.
There’s a real upside to a single-mum Christmas, and having the remote all day is part of it.
Where Can You Find Company on Christmas Day?
Company on Christmas Day can come from a friend’s invite, a community meal, other single mums or a well-timed video call. If people fill you up, plan more of this. If the lead-up has wiped you out, one short catch-up may be plenty.
- A friend’s invite. Say yes. You don’t have to host, and turning up with a pav counts.
- Community meals. Many local Salvation Army centres let you share a Christmas meal with others, and anyone is welcome. Not every centre hosts one, so find your closest event and register early.
- Other kid-free mums. Ask in The Single Mum Vine, the Beanstalk Mums Facebook community. Chances are a few others are on their own that day too.
- An “orphans” lunch. Friends without plans are often glad to be asked.
- A video call. Family or friends who live far away make good company over a long lunch.
Get Outside Before the Day Heats Up
Getting outside early is one of the easiest wins on an Aussie Christmas Day, while it’s cool and the streets are quiet.
Try an early swim, a beach walk or a bushwalk before the barbecues fire up. Some parks close on Christmas Day and public transport runs on a holiday timetable, so check before you head off. Going somewhere remote? Tell someone where you’ll be.
Is Volunteering on Christmas Day Worth It?
Volunteering can be a lovely way to spend the day, but Christmas lunch rosters often fill up early.
Everyone says “just volunteer on Christmas Day”. In practice, the Australian Psychological Society notes that a growing number of charities have more Christmas lunch volunteers than they need. They also tend to want to check people first. Aged care homes and animal shelters are often short-staffed over the holidays, so they can be a better bet.
If you want to do it, ask in November. Or give your time in the lead-up to Christmas instead. Helping others can leave you feeling connected and useful, and the mental health side of volunteering doesn’t stop on 26 December.
Get Ready for Your Own Christmas With the Kids
If the kids aren’t with you on the 25th, your Christmas with them can happen on another day. It counts just as much.
In my house, the kids cared far more about the magic than the date. So use the quiet hours to wrap, bake, set up a treasure hunt or plan a picnic. Christmas Day falls on a Friday this year, so a Boxing Day Christmas lands on a Saturday with Sunday spare to recover.
It’s also a good time to start a few new Christmas traditions that belong just to your house.
How Do You Stay Close to the Kids Without Hovering?
Agree a call time with their other parent before the day. Keep the call short and happy, and let the kids enjoy where they are.
- Set the time ahead. An agreed time, like after lunch, means nobody is waiting by the phone.
- Keep it light. Ask about presents and what they ate. Skip lines like “I’m so lonely without you”, which can leave kids feeling guilty for having fun.
- Leave a little surprise. A note or small gift tucked in their bag gives them a piece of you that morning.
- Save the debrief. Hold off on questions about the other house. “Did you have a good day?” is plenty.
Is It Normal to Feel Flat When the Kids Are Away at Christmas?
Yes. Feeling flat, teary or a bit lost on Christmas Day without your kids is very common.
Zena Burgess, CEO of the Australian Psychological Society, has pointed out that Christmas traditions centre on shared meals and group fun. That makes a solo day harder. She also notes social media can make loneliness feel bigger, so save the scrolling for another day.
Loneliness isn’t about how many people are around you. The government health service healthdirect treats loneliness and isolation as two different things. Loneliness is the feeling of not having the connection you want, and break-ups and family changes are common triggers. That’s partly why the first few Christmases after separation can hit hard.
If the day feels heavy, it’s worth going easy on the drinks, as alcohol can make a low mood feel lower by evening. If it tips into something heavier, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Both answer 24 hours a day, Christmas included.
If the sadness hangs around into the new year, your GP can refer you to a counsellor who can help you work through it.
One Thing to Hold Onto This Christmas
This day has probably been sitting in the back of your mind for weeks, on top of everything else you carry. It’s one day, and you get to shape it.
Pick your anchors and book in company if you want it. Then give yourself a soft landing after handover. Most of what helps with Christmas as a single mum comes down to planning a little and expecting a little less.
So when “what to do on Christmas Day if I’m alone?” pops into your head again, you’ll have an answer that’s yours. And the kids will be back before you know it, ready for round two.
Frequently Asked Questions
What to do on Christmas Day if I’m alone and the kids are with their dad?
Build the day around your handover times, then pick two or three things you’ll enjoy. Christmas Day 2026 falls on a Friday, so a Boxing Day celebration with the kids lands on a Saturday.
What to do on Christmas Day if I’m alone and feeling low?
Keep the day gentle, get outside early, limit social media and plan one call with someone you trust. If it gets heavy, Lifeline (13 11 14) and Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) both answer 24 hours a day.
Is it normal to spend Christmas Day without your kids after separation?
Yes, it’s common in families who share care. The ABS counted 1.2 million one-parent families in Australia in June 2025, so you’re in very big company.
Can I volunteer on Christmas Day in Australia?
Yes, but Christmas lunch rosters often fill up early, and many charities like to check volunteers in advance. Ask in November, or try aged care homes and animal shelters, which are often short-staffed over the holidays.
Where can I have Christmas lunch if I’m on my own?
Say yes to a friend’s invite, or look for a community Christmas meal, such as those run by many local Salvation Army centres. Not every centre hosts one, so find your closest event and register early.
How do I stay in touch with my kids on Christmas Day?
Agree a call time with their other parent before the day and keep the call short and cheerful. Avoid lines that make the kids feel guilty for having fun, and save the big catch-up for your own Christmas together.
