Everything changes after a breakup: plans for the future, your daily schedule, and even your sleeping position. A serious breakup can even distort your sense of self and lead to losing the desire to date anyone new. But you should understand that these feelings of disappointment and loneliness will go away at some point.
Only you can make a decision to move on. Indeed, it might be scary to start dating again and open up to someone else. Moreover, it is perfectly fine to have sexual insecurity after a breakup.
You can live without sex and sexual desire. But your bedroom shouldn’t be a midfield where you feel insecure and vulnerable. You are a grown-up woman who deserves to have a satisfying sex life. Going back to the game can benefit your physical and mental health.
Rediscovering sexuality after a serious breakup can take some time. Here is how you can start enjoying yourself and boost your libido.
How to rediscover your sexuality after a breakup
Enjoy your singleness
At the moment, you have all the time in the world. Use this opportunity to improve yourself and even fall in love with yourself.
Being satisfied with yourself is sexier and more attractive than being miserable. The happier you are, the more confident and approachable you are. Once you stop feeling like a victim of circumstance and start enjoying your new status, you will be able to lead a fulfilling life and attract emotionally healthy men.
Start spending more time with your friends; consider going on a trip with them and getting some hen party packages.
Fall in love with yourself
Work on improving your physical appearance. You should do it for yourself in the first place. It will help you to get rid of fears, boost self-confidence and improve your sex drive (as an outcome).
First of all, ask yourself what you want to improve. Maybe you want to lose some weight or get a new hairstyle. Besides the list of things you want to work on, write down things you love in your appearance and don’t be so hard on yourself.
Secondly, make a realistic action plan once you have a clear sense of your goals.
Also, focus on your mental health. If you can’t get over your ex, consider scheduling a therapy session.
Being sexual is not about having sex. It’s all about confidence, harmony and love to life. So if you want to rediscover your sexuality, to be able to love and let yourself be loved, make sure to take these steps listed above.
Walk around naked
You should love your body the way it is. Why do you want to spend your life hiding from other people and hating yourself?
Most women don’t look like Kendall Jenner or Irina Shayk. These body shapes are presented in the underwear ad campaigns, but it doesn’t mean that they are perfect and that you should feel miserable if yours looks a bit different.
Take off your clothes and look at yourself in the mirror. There might be something you want to work on, but before you start writing a list of things you want to change in yourself, say it out loud: I’m beautiful.
Walk around naked more often in order to get used to your body image. Then, the next time you have a man in your bedroom, you will feel more comfortable with the lights on. Once again, confidence is one of the biggest turn-ons.
Pleasure yourself
The fact that you are not dating anyone at the moment doesn’t mean you can’t have orgasms. To have good sex, you don’t even need to look for guys in bars in the middle of the night. You should start with solo play. That’s how you can discover your body and get some satisfaction without getting emotionally involved with someone.
Let’s be honest: the one-night stand will not always work as perfectly as self-pleasure.
Masturbation can help women release built-up sexual tension, relieve stress, and improve sleep and their mood.
The most important thing is that masturbation also helps to increase women’s libido since it leads to better sexual responses and more sexual thoughts in general.
Masturbation for beginners
If you haven't masturbated for a while, here's a refresher:
For a start, you should know that there are more than just clitoral and vaginal types of masturbation. You can also have the anal, combo and erogenous zones orgasms by using different masturbation techniques.
To get started, you should set the mood and let your mind wander first. Then, add some lube to explore your erogenous zones. Consider reading an erotic novel or watching pornography to turn up the heat in your bedroom.
Masturbation will not always lead to an intense orgasm in the very beginning. Practice the art of self-pleasure in order to explore your body and sexual desires.
How to rediscover your sexuality after a breakup (cont.)
Know what you want
Having sex with someone new should excite you (instead of freaking you out). To open up sexually with a new partner, you should be aware of your boundaries and desires.
Indulging in sexual fantasies and masturbation will help you rediscover your sexuality. You start to understand your wants and needs, and it gets you in the mood for intimacy.
Having clear expectations is also a great first step to communicating with a new partner. Knowing what you want also takes the pressure to read your mind off of your potential significant other. This can be empowering as well, as you don't have to rely on someone else to decide what feels good in bed... and in other places.
Summary: HOW TO REDISCOVER YOUR SEXUALITY
To rediscover your sexuality after a serious break-up might take some time. Especially for a single mum, loss of trust and self-confidence can make it harder to open up - literally and figuratively - to a new person.
First, don't be scared to take some time off sex. Don't be pressured into thinking you need to be intimate again if you're not ready. Healing has no deadline.
Second, just because you're single again doesn't mean your sex life has to be zero.
Instead, take this time to enjoy your singleness and regain your confidence. Use this break to work on your mental health and physical appearance if you need to. To let someone else love and please you, you should fall in love with yourself first.
This is also the perfect time to know yourself. Walk around naked more often - I personally find this an incredible way to feel sexy and beautiful, no matter my shape and size. Pleasure yourself. Masturbation has heaps of known benefits, from stress relief to increasing your libido. Lastly, take this time to know your desires, boundaries, and expectations.
This way, once you have made the decision to move on and let someone else in again - literally and figuratively - you're prepared.
