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Homepage › Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum › Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum › Shared school days

Viewing 12 reply threads
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    • January 3, 2021 at 12:57 pm #58830 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Being a teacher and seeing the lack of routine and stability kids have when going between houses during the school week has led me to always be against it.

      It’s now being proposed for my kids. I’m so sad for them. Now they’ll miss their after school activities with their friends and be sat in a house with an iPad while dad works from home.

      I’m trying to see the positives of this. It’s hard enough as a mum to adjust to not always being with my kids, let alone for children to adjust to ever changing routines. Please be kind with your advice.

    • January 3, 2021 at 1:32 pm #58837 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      It’s not easy being a single parent. We just have to accept what we can’t control and hope for the best. It will take time but you and the kids can hopefully adjust to a new routine.

      If dad is working, can you take them to the after school activities and then drop them off later?

      Much love lady. I don’t agree with split care either. I think they should have a home base, not hotel rooms.

    • January 3, 2021 at 7:30 pm #58873 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      We trialed sharing weekdays and weekends and the kids never adjusted. They always missed home and it was really annoying keeping track of the uniforms and books left at there dads house. In the end we settled on arvo visits mid week and shared weekends.

    • January 3, 2021 at 7:54 pm #58879 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      as in every weekday or week on week off? I won’t lie it is hard for everyone. Catch up on homework on your time if it doesn’t get done there. Spend quality time with them when you have them and try to work or do housework when they are gone.

    • January 3, 2021 at 8:54 pm #58889 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      Its hard for all involved. We have done 50:50 for eight years and our girls, especially the youngest, hate going between homes. We have just moved to two weeks on two weeks off their request and that is working well. They have more time to settle.

    • January 3, 2021 at 10:04 pm #58898 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      It certainly not ideal but as long as you and your ex work together and have good communication is it possible.

      Positives include your kids learning to be organised and independent, different friends/environments/activities at each house, and each parent getting a break every now and then .. and you can use this time to regroup and recharge ready for when the kids come home agian.

    • January 4, 2021 at 9:27 am #58966 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      When you they’ll be between houses, do you mean they will swap on weekdays?

    • January 4, 2021 at 4:07 pm #58988 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      (OP) yes. Start at mums, swap to dads, swap back to mums.

    • January 6, 2021 at 12:02 pm #59229 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      Bit late to the party but these article might help:

      https://beanstalkmums.com.au/helping-children-live-happily-two-homes/
      https://beanstalkmums.com.au/10-back-to-school-tips-for-separated-and-divorced-parents/

    • January 6, 2021 at 12:04 pm #59230 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      Also, this article might help you feel a bit better about it all:

      https://beanstalkmums.com.au/the-positive-impact-of-divorce-on-children/

    • January 10, 2021 at 9:29 pm #59669 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Can I ask what the proposed schedule is e.g. 50/50 or 5/9 days?

      How much distance between the houses?

      I’m wondering what the schedule would be if parents are 1hr 15mins away from each other

    • January 10, 2021 at 9:48 pm #59673 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      Wondering the same

    • January 15, 2021 at 10:49 pm #60060 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      My friend recommended this book (Parenting Toddlers: How You Can Use Positive Discipline to Raise Kids Who Will Have High Self-Esteem, Including Tips for Sleep Training, Handing Tantrums and a Guide to Potty Training) and it’s honestly been a huge game changer for me, it’s been so helpful in so many different aspects of parenting! Here’s the link if you want a free copy: https://amzn.to/2LsVSum
      If you want to cancel during the free trial you can, you still get the book, that’s what I did haha 😆

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