My ex and I haven’t been together since I was pregnant. He’s difficult and that’s putting it nicely. We still don’t do overnights, this is because he has refused to increase the hours from when bub was a newborn. Refuses to have bub for a full day, Or anything longer than a few hours. Pulls out of having bub about 50% of the time. Has recently quit job & started own business making cs go down from $600p/m to $36.
I’m getting really fed up with a few things:
1. He tells the world that I don’t let him have bub which is never the case. We live in a rural area and I’m being judged by so many ppl for being ‘one of those’
2. I work 30hrs per week, have a house to pay off and my bub is in daycare 4 days. I can’t afford to do extra hours because it’s not worth it financially and now I’m in struggletown financially because I’m footing the whole bill for childcare every month.
I don’t know what to do. There’s no point going down the assessment path with him cos he takes cash on most jobs and is sneaky with his finances. He has all the toys, a brand new house, regular holidays.
I’m feeling so defeated. I love my bub & feel like I’m the only one wearing the responsibility despite us planning to have a baby.
I’m tired of hearing the bs he spins. It’s not worth saying anything to him either because he tends to get satisfy from conflict. I just don’t engage in that crap with him anymore.
Like last person said you need some structure in your relationship with him. Go to mediation and get parenting orders put in place that he has to follow so you know where you stand. You can also thrash out with him how much time he actually wants with bub. You also might be able to get some financial commitment from him but that is based on what he declares come tax time.
If he’s lost interest in being a dad there is very little you can do. You will be banging your head against a brick wall by getting him to do stuff he doesn’t want and to get money out of him. Focus on your own life and on being a great mum to your kid. His loss.
First reply – nailed it. That’s it, in a nutshell. You just need to live your life and be the best mum you can be. You can’t rely on CS as income, anything you may get is a bonus. It’s unfair how it’s all playing out for you, but you just need to let go of worrying about what other’s think or how much support you and your child will get from him. Let it go hun (for your own happiness, not his).