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    • #60598 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      I’m not ready yet but I can’t believe how quickly some people meet someone nice as a single Mum. A few girls at my work have met someone within 10 months. I left a year ago and even though I’m not ready I worry about the future. I’m a shell of myself. I can’t see myself ever being emotionally attractive to someone with my son’s issues and having young kids. Actually, I don’t know how anyone finds the time to have a hobby as a single Mum!

    • #60601 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      Give it time. You will mend and your life will become easier … THEN its time to meet someone. In the meantime, there is no point in worrying about it.

    • #60604 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      I met a guy after 9 months and that lasted 1.5 years. Then a few relationships and now single again. I think every one has very different circumstances with past relationship, kids etc so I would try not to focus on what other people do and instead focus on what feels right for you.

    • #60605 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      7 year since my 17 year marriage, perfectly happy on my own.

    • #60611 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      It depends what you mean by nice 🙂 I have met a few nice men but none of them were keepers, more because of me than them. You will find that time will change you and one day you will be ready to let someone in. Plus when your kiddos are older there is more time.

    • #60619 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      True. I guess I meant someone who you can connect with and have a loving, respectful and meaningful relationship with. Probably hard to come by when you’re a Mum with young kids in her 40s haha!

    • #60786 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      It has been 4.5 years since my marriage ended, will be 5 years this year. I remember feeling the same around the one year mark. I couldn’t understand how others move on so quickly and also worried I would never met someone when I was finally ready. Plus two young children (5 months and 3.5 years when first seperated / now 5 and 8) make it hard to have the energy or interest in dating.
      I did met a lovely man around the 2.5 year mark at a friends 40th. He is also a single dad..our problem is he lives in a seperate state : ( we tried long distance and fell in love. Then Covid and border closures added to the LDR strain.
      Please try not to worry your mind right now, it will find you when you least expect it and when you are more ready.

    • #60805 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Thanks. Glad you met a nice man. Hopefully you can live in the same state at some stage. I always took longer than others to want a relationship or want kids. I used to love life and would always be doing something, which was more of a priority than a relationship! I still don’t understand when I hear stories of people meeting the love of their life 6 months after a divorce. I guess some people get in the right head space before others. I’ve just had challenge after challenge with other things in my life!

    • #60806 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Being happy alone is a great trait to have! I always get surprised when people move on quickly too. I think it’s important to do the healing first before starting a new relationship. Otherwise you end up taking a lot of baggage that could ruin your new one. Focus on getting yourself right again and try not to worry about the rest for now

    • #61015 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      It’s been 7 years since my husband left me when I was pregnant, for a long time I wanted him back even though he treated me badly. I couldn’t imagine moving on so quickly either. I did have a flirtation friendship with someone I had a holiday romance with before I met my ex-husband. He lived in a different country and we remained friends for 10 years and he was a great support (from afar) when my husband left. But even then I wasn’t ready to move on.

      And now I’ve been to busy rebuilding my life and finding myself again and trying to learn to love myself. Sure I’d like some intimacy occasionally but I’ve found I don’t need or really want a relationship and it would have to be something really exceptional to change my mind.

      I have a number of single mum friends who have pretty much been single sfor years because they needed to focus on themselves and their kids.

      As for nice guys out there… well I have no idea if they exist but if there are and you love yourself and are wanting that and ready for a relationship…I’m sure they will find you.

      • #61667 Reply
        AvatarAnonymous
        Guest

        Off the topic form the original thread, but my long term partner just left me whilst pregnant. I have really struggled to find anyone else who has been through the same experience. I’m having a really tough time coping with it all. We were together 8 years in a seemingly happy relationship, shared a 2 yr old, actively tried to conceive the second child and then he walked out when I was 6 weeks pregnant and absolutely refused to try and reconcile the relationship or try and work things out. How did you get through it?

    • #61114 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Thanks. It’s nice to hear people happy on their own and rebuilding themselves. I feel like I have a lot of work to do on myself and can’t possibly see how I would have the time or the energy to give anything of myself to anyone but my kids at the moment. I do think people who move on quickly are not very emotional or deep people. They just get on with life and leave the baggage behind. I wish I was like that sometimes! I’ve also noticed they have a Mum and Dad that care about them so therefore lots of family support makes for a faster healing process. My opinion anyway. Thanks.

    • #61170 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      All the best finding Mr Right when the time is right 🙂

    • #61687 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Your post could have easily been written by me, I think exactly the same, the only difference is that I left 2yrs ago – but I still feel exactly the same about it.

      Interesting you should notice that most who move on quickly have a Mum and Dad that care about them, I hadn’t noticed that before but now that you’ve mentioned it… That is something that I am definitely lacking. Some of my single friends who have not moved on (nor are they wanting to) also do not have that. Another single friend, who does have a Mum and Dad that care about them, moved on in less than a year
      (successfully with a nice guy that makes her and her children very happy, even 4 years on)

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