Do you need help to get over your ex?
No one likes a breakup. After all, heartbreak can pull you inside out and upside down, with your entire world shattering in an instant.
It’s not surprise to anyone that breakups tend to bring out the worst in us—days of ugly crying, begging the ex to come back and dreading getting up in the morning. I personally remember getting REALLY familiar with the couch and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Not my finest hour.
And then there’s breakup advice. Oh, the breakup advice.
Everyone from your best friend to your boss loves tossing quick nuggets of wisdom around these days, seemingly with the intent that you’ll be as right as rain tomorrow. Sometimes sage advice like ‘time heals all wounds’ work; sometimes they don’t quite cut it.
For those who prefer to spend their time a little more … efficiently, try these unconventional, scientifically-proven methods to get over your ex.
5 Scientifically proven, surprising steps to get over your ex
1. Decide that you will get over your ex
This is so obvious, but no one actually talks about it. People who have clear goals have been proven to be more successful in life, and this is no different.
This decision should happen when you’ve accepted that your relationship is definitely done. There is nothing left, but to move on. You don’t need to wonder how you will get over your ex, you just determine that you will, and you figure out a way to get there. That way, success is already on your mind.
If you don’t tell yourself that you’re definitely going to move on from this, then it’s a lot of meandering about with no direction, making this process longer and more painful than it has to be.
When my ex broke up with me, I announced on Instagram that ‘I’m not OK, but I will be.’ And I was.
2. Be a robot
It seems counter-productive, but being a robot can help you get what you need done before you allow yourself to lose it completely.
Start by blocking out all emotions and just doing things on auto-run. Ask yourself, ‘What’s the first thing that has to get done to make this easier?’ And usually, that first step is to block or unfriend the ex, and put as much space as possible between the two of you. Then pack up all their stuff to give back or to chuck into the bin.
Be a robot long enough to get the basics done, so that the tough days ahead can be a little less tough.
3. Place your bare feet on the ground
This is a technique called ‘grounding’ or ‘earthing.’
Science has revealed that direct contact with the earth helps to rebalance the body after oxidative stress, which happens when someone experiences a severe life stress (SLS) like a breakup. Oxidative stress is an imbalance of free radicals, which are damaging to the body. Contact with the earth allows an energy infusion to neutralise this effect, reducing physical pain and restoring your bioelectrical circuitry.
Strange theories aside, looking at your feet helps to stabilise you when you feel like everything is falling apart. It reminds you that your feet can still hold you up and keeps you in the present moment, which is a psychology technique also known as grounding.
Who knew that feet could play an important factor to get over your ex?!
4. Drink a lot of water to get over your ex
You will likely experience a whole range of physiological responses like increased heart rate, headaches, and nausea right after a breakup. You’ll probably also be dehydrated from too much crying. In response, your body releases cortisol, a primary stress hormone, which can heighten all those symptoms.
We often focus on taking care of our emotions and mental health after a breakup, but not our body, which is just as essential.
Drinking an extra glass of water can help reduce those cortisol levels and the physiological symptoms, keeping you functioning at your best during these trying times.
5. Share only with people who will listen, not shame you
A lot of people have absolutely no idea how to comfort someone who are grieving a breakup, which can lead to awkward conversations with little support from them. Some will also be quick to say ‘I told you so’ or give you some harsh truth about your relationship because they probably saw the red flags before you did.
They might have good intentions, but shaming you and making you feel like there’s something wrong with your perceptions is overall incredibly unhelpful to your healing.
Instead, be kind to yourself and only share the intimate details of your breakup with people who actually can listen to you without judgment. Only be around people who lift you up, not tear you down, and you’ll find it that much easier to push forward with your recovery.