8 Exciting ways to spice up your sex life

Spice up your sex life | Beanstalk Single Mums

The sex life of a woman can change regardless of whether she has a partner or not. How you react to the word “sex” tells you whether you are running out of sexual fun and excitement. Often, doing the same things for a very long time can disconnect you from your sex life.

Enjoying a satisfying and fulfilling sex life is both physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Spicing it up requires that you change different dimensions of your wellbeing. Here are eight ways to spice up your sex life.



Getting to know yourself better, in this context, takes into consideration your interests or desires, strengths, weaknesses, and key values in sex. Self-knowledge should help you determine what to improve, remove, or add in your sex life such that the thought of intimacy brings happiness.

Your previous sexual experiences can determine your expectations. If only you could understand yourself as a sexual being, and add a new meaning to your sex life, then you might start enjoying a whole new experience.

The sad truth about living a life of routine is that we keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting new results. Knowing yourself better means going back to when your sex life was at its peak and identifying what made it more pleasurable.

Comparing your past and present sexual interests will help you understand the changes that have happened in your life. If you are thinking about spicing up your sex life, then you need to give it a new meaning.

Here, you have to make changes or stick to your beliefs, philosophies, and principles that govern your sexual being. Therefore, you need to know what you want or what turns you on for your sex life to be more exciting.

The choices you make will determine what to expect in the end. You need to be in tune with your body, discover what pleases you, and integrate it into your sex life.


Since there is a physical and mental dimension in a woman’s sex life, then it is best to mention that one has to stay healthy and physically fit.  Sexually activities have a high affinity for energy. For you to meet this demand, you will need to regularly exercise (at least 30 minutes a day), dehydrate (eight 8-ounce glasses per day), meditate (at least 10 minutes a day), and eat a well-balanced nutritious diet.

You can try foods that enhance a woman’s sex drive or libido and improve her stamina such as nuts and seeds, seafood, avocados, apples, and asparagus. Experts in the sex industry recommend foods that are rich in vegetables and lean proteins, and low in sugar and saturated fats. You can throw in some red wine to boost your blood flow.

All in all, getting a healthy body and mind will boost your self-esteem and makes you more attractive. You need to check your hygiene so that you do not put off your partner. Keep your hair short and your body clean, smelling fresh and well-scented. Keeping your hygiene in check spares you and your partner the shame of contracting sexually transmitted diseases.


Do you know your sexual drives? A woman’s sexual drive or desires is way much lower compared to that of a man. For women, there has to be an emotional connection for them to develop a sexual desire. In almost all women, sexual arousal comes after a relationship is established.

For women, the desire for sex can be due to some hormonal change, and sometimes it can be spontaneous depending on the moods. What turns on a woman is a complex topic because it relies on her sexual attitudes, practices, and desires.

Social and cultural factors can also influence a woman’s desire to engage in sexual activity. Some of them rely on what they learn from their peer groups or spiritual affiliations to make decisions about sex. Women view the role of sex differently, so certain conditions need to be met first before they can entertain that intimacy in their minds.


For those looking to spice up their sex life, the word “sex” rings different and it goes way beyond coitus. The intimate act can be shared with someone you trust or it can be self-pleasuring or masturbation. We all define sex in different ways and there is no shame about it. What we all want is to add more fun to it and make the experience memorable.

In your quest to explore the world of sex, you will come across different types of kissing, different sexual intercourse positions, or styles, and a variety of ways of touching or fondling to arouse sexual feelings. You may also choose to add anal and oral sex in your list of sexual activities.

Other sexual fetishes such as role-playing, sensual massage, bondage, and others can add some entertainment and kink in your sex life. For some escapades, you may need to use sensual products and costumes. There are so many brilliant online adult shops that stock a huge range of toys, clothing and accessories to have sexy fun.

Another way to explore sex is by finding the best place to get freaky. Sexual activities must not always happen in your bedroom, you can try getting intimate on the kitchen counter, at the parking lot, in your car, or a hotel. if it can’t wait, then you do not need to take off your clothes to enjoy sex, a quickie with your clothes on should do the magic.

Therefore, exploring the sexual realm can help you spice up your sex life by giving you a different experience and ways of doing things.

Exciting ways to spice up your sex life (CONT.)


Having sexual thoughts is more common in men than in women, and that is the reason why men have high libidos. The habit of thinking about sex more often can be useful to a woman in increasing their sexual desire. Sensual fantasies come easily when you allow yourself to flirt and engage in dirty or naughty talks.

Talking more about sex regularly influences how you think and feel about it. The more sexual thoughts dominate your mind, the brain registers it as an important aspect of your life.  You can talk about sex over the phone or by text with your partner or any person you trust. As you text or flirt, do not forget to share your sexual fantasies.


To set the mood, you’ll have to create a perfect environment that evokes sexual sensations. You may choose to use slow music or sweet fragrance. If you wish to add a plot, similar to that in a romantic novel, then having rose petals on the floor and dimming the lights or using candles will set the mood right for you.

A woman deserves to feel and look sexy during this moment, so wearing lingerie or any other sexy garment prepares you for a great night ahead. Some women would prefer using creams and gels, or pheromones to make their partners go wild for them. Seduction is key in setting the right mood and environment for sex.

To have great sex, you might want to work on your foreplay. To make things more exciting, you may also consider using sex toys and devices. 

What is foreplay? Foreplay or “outercourse” refers to any sexual activity occurring before the actual sexual intercourse. This stage is a warm-up to the main “sex” event. The activities could include seducing, kissing, touching, cuddling, or just “dirty” talking. 

Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin production increase during foreplay. These feel-good hormones will help the couple grow intimate and closer with each other. This stage can also increase your body temperature, breathing, and heart rate. The blood flow in the private parts or genitals increases too. In addition, vaginal lubrication increases—which greatly helps in preventing pain or discomfort brought about by dry sex. 

Lacking time for foreplay may result in unsatisfactory sex. Some people may have low confidence due to issues in body image and confidence, and this affects foreplay and overall sexual performance. Hence, it is important to make your partner feel comfortable in their own skin. Open communication is vital to have excellent foreplay. 

Tell your partner what you want and vice versa. Be optimistic, honest, and sensitive to your partner’s sexual desires and needs. And of course, reassure them that their body is great, and they are doing okay. In this way, you and your partner can gain confidence and can enjoy satisfactory foreplay.


If you are looking to have sex with someone you are not sure about, then getting pregnant or contracting sexually transmitted infections is not something that you wish for yourself. Using the barrier method, you can choose from a variety of male or female condoms available in adult shops that come in different flavours.

When pain is mentioned during sex, what comes in mind is that you are either using the wrong sexual intercourse position, you are doing something that does not turn you on or there is more friction. Even after foreplay, not all women produce enough natural vaginal lubrication for penetration. If you fall into this category, then your best solution for pain is to use a personal lubricants during sexual activity.

Your sex life should be fun, so you do not need to engage in an intimate act if you are not ready. No one should force you into sex because your attitude towards it might change to a negative one.


We all have to admit that there is always something new to learn about sex. The best you can do is grab a resource material about sex or hire a sex coach to learn some practical lessons on how to improve your sex life.  Through sex education and coaching, you’ll learn some tips, tricks, and tools that can set your free to embrace your desires and explore the values around sex.

Conclusion: How to spice up your sex life

These eight different ways can help you spice up your sex life. All you have to do is identify what you can do today and then add the rest in your future to-do list. Your little effort today can make your sex life more fun, enjoyable, and memorable.

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