Whether you’re newly single again or have been thinking about getting back into dating for some time, being a single parent can be very challenging. At the same time, being single again can allow you to rediscover important things about yourself and help you open your horizons to new people and relationships.
While it might be very exciting to dive into a brand new relationship, you must give yourself enough time to heal. This can be the perfect opportunity for you to do some self-reflection and rediscover your sexuality. If you are going through such a phase, here are some helpful tips to help you adjust.
Definitions of common sexual orientations
A person’s sexual orientation and sexuality are tied to the people they feel physically and emotionally attracted to. This can mean that you are interested in someone in only a romantic or only an emotional way, or both.
When it comes to rediscovering things about yourself+, you should always do some research first. One of the most helpful things in such a situation is looking through some of the common sexual orientations and seeing which best matches your thoughts about your sexuality.
Heterosexual
Attracted to people who are of the opposite sex from yours
Homosexual – Lesbian
Attracted to people who are of the same sex as yours
Bisexual
Attracted to both people who identify as male and people who identify as female
Pansexual
Attracted romantically and sexually to people of any gender identity, without gender being an important factor in sexual or romantic attraction
Asexual
Asexuality is a spectrum. Asexual people are usually not sexually attracted to other people of any gender identity. Some people on the asexual spectrum though may experience certain degrees of sexual or romantic attraction to certain people.
Dive deeper into your past
The very first thing you should do when being in the process of rediscovering your sexual orientation is to take a look into your past. Is this something that only recently came to your mind, or have you always had this as a thought? Most of the time, we get caught up in relationships and societal standards that just seem right and we end up avoiding looking at what we truly want.
Think about your crushes in the past, memories of you enjoying the company of other people, or even how you would envision yourself happy in the future. These can all help you think about the person you would like to have in your life next.
Describe your perfect partner
Another very helpful thing that can help you with exploring your sexuality is having an idea of how you would like your next partner to be. If you are struggling to find the right words to express your sexuality, you can start by simply imagining the person you would like to meet. Labels aren’t always necessary and oftentimes, you need some time until you know exactly how you’d like to express your orientation.
This can help you understand whether someone’s gender is part of what makes you attracted to them or not, or if you are interested in having a sexual relationship with someone or not. As a result, you will be one step closer to identifying your sexuality and seeing what term best describes you.
Talk with people before starting to date
Online dating apps are a great opportunity for you to come in contact with people who have already established their sexuality. You can easily see how you feel about being romantic with someone of the same gender for example, without having to commit to going on a date right away.
The good thing is that there are some great LGBTQ+ dating apps, such as Taimi.com, which can make dating for people of the community a lot easier. Through connecting with people who have had more experiences than you, you can gain experience and feel more comfortable about going on a date with another woman.
Share your personal experiences
Whether you choose to speak to a friend, a therapist, or your journal about this, sharing what’s on your mind is always a good idea. Sometimes, we need to externalize certain thoughts so we can understand and process them better.
If you have someone you feel safe with and would like to share your thoughts with, make it a priority to express what’s on your mind. Share experiences from your past and resent which made you rethink your sexuality. Maybe someone else’s view on the matter will help you think things differently and help you reach a step closer to understanding yourself better.
Set healthy boundaries
Setting boundaries and knowing what you want is a very healthy way to explore your sexuality. You might be looking for a more serious relationship or just want to explore new situations with new people. Boundaries will help you and the people you put in your life know what to expect from you.
These boundaries can revolve around topics such as:
- What type of relationship you’re looking for
- If sex is important in the relationship
- If you’re ready to be emotionally available for someone
- How much time you are willing to spend with someone
- Whether you want your children to be around new partners
These are just some examples that can help you get to thinking about how you want your experiences with new people to be. The most important thing about rediscovering your sexual orientation is doing it in a way that will keep your heart safe. Putting your emotions and needs first is not selfish at all.
Take every new relationship slow
While you might be excited about being with someone else or sharing a new romantic experience with someone, taking things slow is important. When you are discovering your sexuality all over again, it might be very easy to want to go all-in and devote yourself to a new person. Taking things slow will allow you to get to know the person and see if you truly match one another.
Also, dating someone different than every other person you’ve dated before can give you a lot of insight into how you should approach this new relationship. Make sure you take your time and see how you respond to each new thing that comes your way. There is no rush in getting things right and all that matters is being happy and comfortable with who you are.
Always put your children first
Last but not least, it goes without saying that your children should be the priority in your life at any given point. Unless they are too young to understand, it is a good idea to communicate how you feel with them in a way that will answer any questions they might have about any new partners.
As a single mom, you will have to balance your time and energy between your child and someone new. The more your child understands your need to start dating as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, the easier it will be for them to accept a new person into their life. It might be an amazing thing for you to rediscover yourself and find happiness again after your divorce, but you should always remember that your child is more important than anyone else.
Discovering your sexuality in a healthy way
As a single parent, it is a wonderful thing to have the space to rediscover your sexuality and see which situations truly make you happy. You finally have the time to focus on yourself and your needs while parenting your child, which can be both exciting and tiring. A happy parent makes for a happy child, so taking the time to care for your emotional and physical needs is very important.
In such a situation, you need to make sure that you give yourself enough time to heal before jumping into any new relationship. Make sure that you focus on being happy with yourself and accepting everything about yourself fully before you decide to be with someone new. This will ensure you pick a person who is perfect for you and loves and respects your child as much as you do.
