Are you sick of swiping left?
FUN FACT: 1 out of 6 couples is now meeting online – I should know I am one!
CRAP FACT: Most women loathe online dating so much they often stop all together – ummmm yeh this was me at one point too!
If you’re like most women I’ve worked with who’ve been online for any length of time you’ve probably seen it all (and quite possibly more than you’ve ever wanted to!).
But don’t despair!
Online dating can be a whole lot of fun and a great way to meet an incredible man.
Over the years I’ve helped hundreds of women meet their man. I’ve also read, written, reviewed and revamped heaps of online dating profiles. So, including the years I was online dating, it’s fair to say I’ve seen my fair share of the good, bad and the ugly.
I know the excitement of online dating, whilst at first fun, soon loses its lustre if you’re attracting the wrong kind of men.
So just how do you navigate an Insta-Tinder hook-up culture, cut through the BS and attract a great guy just right for you?
Here’s some ideas to get you started writing a stand out profile.
How to write the perfect online dating profile
GET THE RIGHT BALANCE
Activate your feminine attraction by balancing depth with playfulness.
Be light and have banter in how you write your profile, but demonstrate the other sides to you through what you write in your profile.
SPEAK TO YOUR POTENTIAL MAN
Certain words, phrases and photos can have the power to attract one man and yet repel another. So it’s super important to make sure your profile isn’t trying to appeal to men in general – just your man.
Be real. Be you. Don’t water down who you are and use language that ‘speaks’ to your potential partner, not everyone.
Less is more. Give a flavour of who you are, not your whole life story.
A little mystery is alluring and intimating something that will have him intrigued and wanting to contact you to know more.
And certainly don’t share too much information about your kids. Not only is it unnecessary at this stage, but it can be unsafe. Dating with kids a whole different ball-game!
RE-EDUCATE OUR MEN
In a world where hook-ups are normalised it’s important you make it clear you are a real, whole high-quality woman looking for something real with someone great from the onset.
A caveat here: Be clear what you are looking for without making the person reading it feel immediately responsible for providing it.
‘Looking for something real with someone awesome’
‘I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone who’s not intimated by the fact that I have a family.’
Remember this guy hasn’t even met you, so creating demands of where the relationship needs to head before he even knows you isn’t likely to get him excited about sending you a wink, kiss or otherwise.
How to write a standout online dating profile (cont.)
Don’t get put in the ‘casual fun’ box
Avoid being overtly flirty or sexual.
Appealing to this side of him first will activate the sexual side of a man and might put you straight into ‘casual fun’ box – even if he’s looking for something serious.
Attract him with your more subtle feminine wiles. Of course, you may want to be put in the casual fun box, in which case, make it clear on your profile that you are not looking for something serious.
SAY WHAT YOU WANT (NOT WHAT YOU DON’T WANT)
Ask for what you want, not what you don’t want. Using words like ‘no players’ or ‘must have sh@t together’ screams someone who’s been burnt.
GET THE VISUALS RIGHT
A picture paints a thousand words.
Men are visual, but make sure you are showing the whole woman you are, not just the physical side.
Do show friendly smiles, lust for life, lifestyle things that show you doing something you are passionate about.
Don’t be provocative, show too much cleavage, sexy body shots, glamour make-up shots or party shots with the girls. These photos attract the wrong kind of men and don’t showcase who you really are.
AVOID BARRIER WORDS
Watch your use of overly masculine words.
Avoid using lots of words like driven, competitive, independent, complex, busy. These words can be barriers for men when overused.
AS WELL AS NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES
Steer clear of using language that implies negative attributes of someone you’ve previously dated or other men you’ve seen online.
‘If you’re challenged by strong women don’t bother writing.’
Implies that whoever is reading your profile IS challenged by strong women. A man who’s not can read between the lines and doesn’t need to be told.
Most of all have fun in the process!
Here’s to love!