How to manage insecurities in long distance relationships

Long distance relationships


Long distance relationships are thrilling, but oh, those insecurities! When you can't be with your partner, doubts creep in.

In this article, we'll tackle insecurities in long distance relationships. Whether starting anew or nurturing an existing bond, addressing insecurities is crucial for a healthy connection and long-lasting love.

First, we'll uncover common insecurities: FOMO, trust, and loneliness because shedding light reduces their power.

Next, open communication takes the stage. We'll share tips for bridging the gap and embracing technology.

The final tips include setting boundaries, managing expectations, and of course, the all-important self-care.

It is time to dispel those doubts that threaten what could be a beautiful partnership and create a love story that defies the miles.

Learn to handle FOMO

Feeling like you're missing out on experiences and opportunities while physically separated from your partner is natural.

Especially in the era of social media, when you see others' best and happiest moments, the fear of missing out, or FOMO, is a massive challenge for long-distance couples.

Acknowledging these emotions is the first step to handling this fear. Accept that these are normal feelings given your situation, and that it's okay to feel lonely or envious of other couples who are together.

Next, the two of you must work on these feelings. Building trust and managing loneliness, along with other tips we will discuss below, are key to addressing these.

Finally, remind yourself that you're not always going to be apart. You will also have the opportunity to go to different places and experience moments together, which is something to look forward to.

Build complete trust with your partner

Building trust can be incredibly challenging when you see each other only some of the time.

Open and honest communication is the first step to building trust. Regularly checking on each other, discussing challenges and opportunities, and being transparent with your partner will help. Inform each other about your activities and schedule, so you know when you can talk. Celebrate your milestones and special occasions using technology, like having gifts delivered to them.

Allowing each other to grow and have a life outside your relationship is crucial. Giving each other personal space and establishing boundaries are healthy for any relationship, long-distance or not.

Most importantly, you must be trustworthy. Avoid behaviours and activities that can elicit doubts, like lying, hiding stuff, and flirting with others.

Manage loneliness when apart

Feelings of loneliness are an expected struggle in long-distance relationships. After all, many of us seek "someone to hold" in romantic relationships - one thing absent when a couple is physically apart.

Although long-distance couples experience loneliness, it doesn't have to lead to a breakup.

The tips in this guide will help you maintain a healthy relationship despite being apart. In addition, constant quality time (although virtually), pursuing individual hobbies and interests, reaching out to others, and working together towards shared goals and aspirations will help you cope with the distance.

Keep in mind that although your romantic relationship is a significant part of your life right now, in the end, it is just one part. Nurture different aspects of your life, so you don't focus on the absence of your partner.

Make the most of your time together

Quality time is essential in every relationship. Doubly so for long-distance couples who have limited time together.

Plan and coordinate your schedules to maximise the duration of your time together. Make sure that other commitments are out of the way for the two of you to be more present and attentive. Sometimes, this means delaying answering texts and calls from other people or turning off your phone.

Engage in activities the two of you equally enjoy. Take turns planning for activities and surprising each other, bringing excitement to your reunion.

Make room for emergencies, and consider involving your significant other when unexpected changes happen. For example, if your office calls for an emergency online meeting, allow your partner to stay in the same room (unless the discussion is confidential). Then, make up for lost time with a surprise!

Communicate regularly

Today, long-distance couples have no reason to miss out on each other; FaceTime or Messenger is just a few taps away.

But keep in mind that merely talking is not enough. As mentioned above, the quality of the time you spend together is what's really important.

Think setting a specific schedule for your regular talks and committing to this plan. Limit answering messages from other people and treat it as your virtual date night. You don't answer work calls on date night, do you?

What you talk about is equally crucial. As discussed earlier, open communication is key to building trust. Be honest and transparent about your feelings and share your activities so you both feel involved in each other's life.

Invest in some long distance sex toys

One of the hardest parts of a long distance relationship are the many missed moments of intimacy.

Keeping your sex life alive and kicking even while apart will seriously help lessen those insecurities, as well as lowering the chances of either party looking elsewhere.

Talk to your partner about ways to stay sexy while apart. Think safe sexting, phone calls with dirty talk, or video calls, all of which are heaps of fun. They can even make the build up to seeing one another again in person even more exciting.

Wireless app enable sex toys are a gift from the heavens for long distance lovers. They allow users to pleasure themselves while their partner controls the settings from their smartphone wherever they are in the world. Don't knock it till you've tried it!

Manage expectations in long distance relationships

Managing expectations is another crucial factor in maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship.

Make sure you see eye-to-eye when it comes to where you want your relationship to go. The two of you must have a shared understanding of the terms of the relationship, such as exclusivity, commitment, and other boundaries.

Talk about communication routines. Discuss schedules for your virtual "dates," who calls first, what you expect during the call, and what situations allow for unexpected and emergency calls.

However, both of you should have a level of flexibility. A long-distance relationship has unique challenges, so both parties must practice understanding and empathy.

Stay busy and invest in yourself

We've mentioned this before, but allowing each other to have a life outside each other is necessary for a long-distance relationship. In fact, spending all the time together - although virtually - is counterproductive for any relationship.

You and your significant other must still have individual hobbies, interests and goals. Allow and encourage independence and personal growth. Take this opportunity to take classes you've always wanted, grow your career, practice self-care, and foster relationships with friends and families.

This will lessen the pressure in your relationship, since each of you will not feel responsible for the other's happiness and needs.

Final words: Managing insecurities in long distance relationships

Insecurities are normal in long-distance relationships. Feeling fear, distrust, and loneliness is typical when you are physically apart. However, this does not mean your relationship will not work.

Quality time, open and honest communication, making the most out of technology, and allowing for independence and personal growth are just some things you can do to help alleviate these insecurities.

Remember that this is a two-way process; you and your significant other must work together to nourish your love despite the physical distance.

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Beanstalk Single Mum Team

About the author

Beanstalk is run by a team of single mums who share their expertise about single motherhood to help other women on a similar journey to them. This article was written from experience and with love to help single mothers in Australia and across the world.

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