If I see another article about red flags in a relationship, I think I’ll scream.
Why doesn’t anyone talk about the green flags?
And by green flags we mean the signs that your relationship is romping along in the correct direction with lots of indications that you’ve happened upon Mr Right.
Because happy, healthy relationships do exist, and people are having them every single day.
Here are some green flags to suggest it’s time to stop worrying about your relationship and enjoy it instead.
YOU CAN SAY (PRETTY MUCH) ANYTHING TO YOUR PARTNER
More often than not, arguments are caused by the things we say.
Freedom of speech is all well and good until you put your foot in it and upset your partner, or vice versa.
Think about the way you converse. Do you have respectful, open communication where you are comfortable to share your feelings without fear of rebuke?
If so, you’ve got your first green flag!
Even a gold standard relationship is gonna have flaws. There will always be things about your partner that grate on you.
The key here is acceptance.
Both you and your partner must accept and love one another for the people you are, without the need to change each other in any way.
Ok, so they might grind their teeth at night and have an unusual taste in winter jumpers but that’s what makes them who they are.
Accepting each other for the wonderfully flawed people that you both are, is the fluttering green flag of a good romantic partnership.
THE GREEN FLAG OF ABSOLUTE TRUST
Oh goodness, trust in a relationship can be a tricky balance.
Without trust you may as well call it a day. Yet it is a fine line between smothering someone and trusting them
Healthline explains what the right level of trust should feel like:
“It means you feel safe and comfortable with them and know they won’t hurt you physically or emotionally. You know they have your best interests in mind but also respect you enough to encourage you to make your own choices.”
Recognise this feeling? Then you’re on track.
Further reading: How to stop trust issues ruining your future relationships.
THERE IS GIVE AND TAKE
Juggling the two-way compromise needed for a healthy, long-term relationship is a real skill.
Relationships start with small decisions like what restaurant to eat at, then later as things get serious, you could be choosing what suburb to buy a home in or whether to have a home birth!
It is impossible to get your own way all the time in a committed relationship where another person’s opinions are just as valid as your own.
If you are prepared to compromise and your partner does too, you have the potential to see this thing through.
YOU GIVE AND RECEIVE RESPECT
Respect is the golden key to any good relationship, romantic or otherwise.
It’s as simple as this:
Do you have 100% respect for your partner and do you feel 100% respected by them?
If you have two yes’s, you have another green flag.
YOU ARE NOT JOINED AT THE HIP
Ok, so you’re madly in love but that doesn’t mean you are joined at the hip and have to do everything together.
In fact, to do so would be unhealthy.
It’s ok to prioritise time with your partner but you must also have a sense of self and be happy to spend time doing things apart, either alone or with friends/family.
Consider whether you both have a life outside the perimeters of your relationship. Furthermore, do you support one another in that life?
If you do, then you’re through to the next round.
FUN RELATIONSHIPS GET GREEN FLAGS
Are you enjoying yourself in your relationship? Is it fun?
Laughter, smiling and general happiness are epitome of a green flag relationship.
It’s as simple as that.
YOU CAN BE YOURSELF
One of the biggest (yet easiest) mistakes we can make in a relationship is trying to be the person we believe our partner wants us to be, instead of being ourselves.
Not only is it not sustainable but you are being dishonest to your partner, and to yourself.
According to Very Well Mind:
“You should be able to feel that you can be yourself in a healthy relationship. While all couples have varying levels of openness and self-disclosure, you should never feel like you have to hide aspects of yourself or change who you are.”
Are you being completely truthful to yourself in your relationship? Or are you (possibly unintentionally) putting on a bit of an act?
Have a think about it.
If you are being the wonderful person that is you, the final green flag is all yours!
Further reading: How to attract the right man for a committed relationship.