Anna was ‘sort of happy’ ‘most days’ in the work she was doing. Her role was a mixed bag of responsibilities, with a bit of finance, a touch of HR and some general admin duties.
But, the job didn’t make her heart sing. She decided she wanted something different and that she deserved better.
Have you ever decided that you really want something and then pulled out all stops to get it?
Maybe it was a job or a complete career change. You may have needed to do a training course, get a qualification or even work through a four-year degree to achieve the goal. It’s possible and likely you had to apply for 10, 20, 30 or more jobs in the search.
In the process you may have set some non-negotiable criteria and decided not to settle for anything less than the role you deserved. And all the way, even though some of your applications were seemingly ignored, you persevered, attended many interviews and dealt with the rejections and the knock backs.
Then there were the jobs that were pretty good but not quite right and although you could have accepted an offer, you decided to follow your plan to get the right job in the right company for the right reasons. And finally, after putting in all the hard work, the ideal job opportunity came your way.
Doing a man search is a bit like a job search. For most people, finding a great partner is more important than finding the ideal job or career. The right partner can bring joy to your life, warmth to your heart and song to your soul.
But is it possible that at times you don’t put in enough effort to maximise your chances of success in love? Is it possible that you put more effort and focus and training into getting the right job or in other parts of life than you do getting the right partner?
Anna decided she wanted to find her ideal job so she got serious and got clear. She discovered she was lacking skills and that she also had to ditch limiting blocks that had prevented her from career success in the past. Anna knew that it was highly unlikely that the job would just fall on her lap, so she took action, went after it and got it.
Here are five lessons we can adapt from Anna’s job search to your search for your Mr Right.
1. Make a Decision
This needs to be a firm decision that you will do whatever it takes to find, attract and keep not just any partner, but someone who makes your heart sing.
In this step you make a new agreement with yourself and set high standards. No more excuses.
2. Get Crystal Clear before starting your man search
Think about the sort of partner you want and why.
Go deeper than surface level factors and really explore the sort of relationship you want.
Doing this will ensure your man search is successful from the get-go.
3. Reflect on You
Do some deep reflection on yourself and understand your strengths, the gaps in your knowledge or things you would like to do better.
As you think about your Mr Amazing, ask yourself these questions:
‘Who is the Ms Amazing that he is searching for and what about me can I improve, develop or change to become a better version of myself?”
“What are the limiting beliefs I need to let go and do I need some help to do that?”
4. Immerse Yourself in Learning
Think about it, if you want something you’ve never had before, then you will need to do things you’ve never done before. This applies to your man search.
It is difficult to get a better result in any part of your life with the same level of knowledge and thinking that brought you to where you are today. That means new ways of thinking, improved awareness of self and others along with knowledge that can help you succeed once you start a new relationship.
There is no down side to knowing more about what makes you tick and what you might need to change or tweak.
In this learning phase you may discover patterns of behaviour or limiting blocks that need to change.
5. Put in maximum effort with your man search
Get strategic with your search. Anna didn’t land her ideal job by only sending in a few applications, nor will you land your ideal partner by just going on a few random dates.
Get creative, get brave, think outside the box and don’t give up until you have achieved your goal.
Go get what you want and deserve!