Now it’s much quicker and more practical to meet people all because of dating apps. Although, it’s clear that they are pretty difficult to navigate and find your perfect match. Then enters dating fatigue.
It’s hard to pin-point one red flag that you have dating fatigue. But maybe you’ve started to feel apathetic and pessimistic when you open up your dating app. Then, maybe it’s time to approach things differently. Let’s take a look at how you can stop feeling sick and tired of online dating.
It’s important to remind yourself why you’re taking part in online dating. Remember, dating apps can expose you to many different types of people that you might’ve not met otherwise. Instead of half looking at your phone whilst watching your favourite TV show, create a dedicated period of time to really give the dating app your full attention. Just a few minutes of focus time can make a difference to the quality of your matches.
Something else to consider: be explicit about what you want. For example, dating apps like #Dating allow you to make it clear on your profile what you’d like out of your dating experience by adding hashtags such as #open-minded or #long-term-relationship to your profile. Swiping right on people who want similar things gives you a bigger chance to reduce your dating app fatigue.
Quality not quantity
It can certainly feel like you could meet anyone and everyone on dating apps, it’s very easy to just keep swiping right. However, this doesn’t always mean they’ll all bring you joy. Too many variables can make a person constantly go back and forth about who and what is right for them, and research shows those who change their mind a lot when dating are more likely to feel disappointed. This is a perfect recipe for dating anxiety.
A top tip to battle this is to become inquisitive about your matches to keep them high quality. Look at their profiles carefully - that’s what they are there for! Also, don’t cross someone off because they don’t comply exactly with your ideal person. If there is enough to make them stand out; swipe, match and message. You have nothing to lose! Don’t just go in with a casual “hey” too; say something nice about their pictures, bring up something that caught your eye on their profile, or even ask some of these questions to help you get to know them better. Maybe you’ll have fewer matches, but more people you resonate with.
Don’t think you’re the only one being inquisitive. You need to give your matches something to get curious about too. For example, try to put at least a couple of pictures on your profile, communicate why you’re using the dating app and add some basic info. Making real connections reduces dating fatigue and you’ll have much more fun!
Change how you think
So, when it comes down to the conversation, do you wait for them to message or will it be you who makes the first move? Well, if you feel overwhelmed thinking about starting the chat, maybe we can help you change how you approach it:
Every match doesn’t have to be a life-long partner, instead they can help you discover yourself. All of your dates don’t have to become something serious, but can teach you about yourself and your needs. And when you do go on a date, keep the location easy and somewhere you already know. Going far away or doing something bucket-list-like can put too much pressure on the date. You want to keep emotional investment at a minimum, so something like a chat over a coffee is a great way to find out if your date is someone you’d want to know better.
Meet in person
The best way to know if your match is right for you is to meet up in person. It’s always appealing to message back and forth with your matches to gauge their personality, but the best way to see how compatible you are is when they are right in front of you.
Some relationship experts say to meet within five messages. Then, you don’t create potentially made up assumptions about the person before you’ve even met. When you’re together in real life, you see the person for who they are, and not what your imagination has created.
Of course, there will be people who find this far too early. It’s important that you listen to your gut and only do this when you are ready. A good alternative is to text someone for a short while and then have a video call, before starting to meet up.
Remember, please only meet up if you feel safe and comfortable. Suggest to meet somewhere public with others around you, make your own way to the meeting spot and tell someone close to you about where you’re going.
Put yourself first
Maybe you simply just need a break. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be constantly online and logged into dating apps. If these tips don’t encourage you, why not take a break from the apps altogether. We get it, dating can be exhausting and it’s even worse when you’re feeling stressed over it. Take as much time as you need and come back to the scene once you feel ready. It’s so much easier to make real connections when you’re actually present, and people will match your energy back to you.
If you want to have high quality dates, it’s just as much about you as it is about them. Maybe you could write your thoughts down to figure out what your next move is, and it could also help you work out why you feel so down and stressed about online dating in general. Maybe you’re not getting the types of matches you’d like, or just not finding anyone to truly connect with. Identifying the root of your problems can help you turn them around. If that doesn’t resonate with you, you could take up a new hobby or drop a message to some old friends. Sometimes, a bit of time out is all you need.
Final words: 5 Tips to tackle online dating fatigue
With just a few taps of your phone, you can have so many new people in your life thanks to dating apps. While this has so much potential for your love life, it can also be a lot to take in.
It’s important to remember that although online dating can be a process, you shouldn’t feel turned off by it. If you’re fatigued from dating apps, don’t stress. It happens to all of us at some point. Take some time to really think about what you want to get out of dating apps and experiences and swipe based on your values. And if all else fails, log out for a bit to clear your mind. There will be many matches to come back to for your return!
Further reading: How to write a successful online dating profile.