As the festive season approaches, not only do Christmas traditions give us something to look forward to, they make us feel safe and connected. All of these are super important for separated families.
If you are navigating your first Yuletide as a single parent, you may be feeling a little lost. Yet, rather than see it as a time of loss, why not spin it around? Use your new-style Yule to create wonderful new practices as a joint unit that will set the scene for many happy Christmases to come.
Rituals can be created simply for the fun factor (and why not?), or they can be based on religion, values or anything which is important to you. Here are 30 easy and mostly affordable customs you can incorporate into your family's new Christmastime celebrations.
Further reading: The upside of being a single mum at Christmas.
30 New Christmas traditions for separated families
1. Have a Christmas movie marathon
One thing this world is not short of is cheesy Christmas-themed movies. Whether they're new releases or traditional favourites you watch every year, there is bound to be a few that your family love to watch together.
Choose a special time, such as Christmas Eve or Boxing Day morning, to cuddle up and share the joys of the holidays without lifting a finger.
Don't forget the yummy Christmastime snacks!
Note: As a divorced family sharing Yule with other parents, you might need to change 'when' you do this each year. But that's ok. Us single mums are super flexible.
2. Read a special Yuletide book with the kids
Do you and your little ones have a favourite Yuletide book? If not, now is the time to pick one for family time.
We have a few that we pull out with the Nativity tree each year and read over and over at bedtimes on the lead up to Christmas Day.
Don't laugh when I tell you my girls are now teenagers and still cry through 'The Little Match Girl' when I dig it out. They will never forgive me for telling you.
3. Volunteer at the local soup kitchen or homeless shelter
Volunteering is a great way to help others during the festive season, but did you know that volunteering is also great for your mental health?
It's the perfect new practice to teach your children values and lessons around Yule. Most importantly that not everyone is as lucky as they are ... even if their mum and dad are separated.
Look online for ways to volunteer in your local area during the holidays. An expert advice? You might consider invite their father to turn the litigious processes of divorce into a joyful experience where two households come together to a united front.
4. Bake holiday cookies/desserts together
No holiday is complete without a few cheery cooking sessions. Whether your kids want to spend the day with one parent or the other, cooking and baking together is always fun.
My suggestion is to pick super easy recipes to celebrate Christmas, nothing too complicated or stressful!
And remember, they don't need to be Pinterest worthy. As long as they taste good and you have a laugh making them, you've found yourself a brilliant new Yuletide lore.
5. Buy a real Christmas tree
Nothing screams 'Christmas traditions' as an Australian than the mission to buy a real tree for your home.
Wandering around the trees of all shapes and sizes, smelling the pine, and arguing over which is the perfect one for your living room. Yep, that's what Yule is all about.
So, if you've never had a real tree before, now is the time to create new Christmastime custom.
Look online, find your nearest dealer, grab the kids and off you go.
6. Walk to see Christmas lights on local houses
Simple, fun and completely free!
Having lived in the same area for ten years, I know which streets near us go all out with the outdoor Christmastide decs. It's like they're having a competition with their neighbours for the most flamboyantly decorated house in the street.
I'm not complaining though. We spend a good hour wandering these festively-lit streets, oohing-and-arring at the twinkly lights and wondering how they managed to get a 12-foot blow-up Santa on the roof.
If you have just moved following your separation, ensure to spend this quality time to discover the neighbourhood too.
7. Create the perfect Christmas gift baskets for the needy
You might find your kids school or playgroup have already nabbed this Yuletide ritual and they don't want to do it at home. If not, most charity shops are welcoming of anything around Yule but they particularly love a well-thought-out hamper.
If your budget can afford it, don't miss the opportunity to chat with your kids about how they can make a difference in the life of another family this Christmastime. Yes, they might feel upset that mum and dad are not together this Yule. But some families will struggle to put food on the table, let alone buy one for each other.
8. Go to a pantomime or Christmas show
I'm a sucker for a Christmas-themed show. Especially a pantomime.
Whether it's a big city feature or a school performance, book yourself and your kiddies tickets for some kind of live event as part of your new Christmas custom list.
You could go all-out: Dress up and (if money allows) grab some Christmassy food before or after the show. Hot chocolate in the cooler climes or ice creams/snow cones if it's hot where you live.
9. Do something nice for the neighbours
Have your neighbours been there for you this last year?
Mine are always on hand to help. This past year alone, they've:
- Looked after both my daughters when I was late from work (four times)
- Fed the dogs while we've been away (three times)
- Helped me with the oddest jobs around the house (I have lost count of how many times!)
Use the holiday as a time to show how much you appreciate your neighbours support.
No need to spend the whole budget for your neighbours, of course. I keep it simple and buy my long-suffering neighbours a small Tupperware of ice cream sandwiches my kids make every year. We head around as a family on the morning of the 25th, wish them Happy Holidays and then go our own ways.
10. Surprise your friends with carolling!
Does anyone actually do carolling in Australia anymore?
Well, I love a good sing-song.
Practice with your kids and head around to friends and family to sing to your heart's content at their front door.
If nothing else, it'll give them a good laugh ... and yes, you've created another Yule practice.
Ideas for Christmas as a single parent family (cont.)
11. Put a gift under the Kmart Wishing Tree
Wanna know another heritage as a co-parenting family that teaches about giving? Try dropping a box under the Kmart Wishing Tree.
It's a great parenting opportunity to remind our kids (and ourselves) that sometimes the best presents are the ones we give.
Last year, my girls and their cousins decided to drop something special at Kmart. Their eyes sparkled brighter than any Christmas-themed light when they realised their toys would bring another child joy.
It's a lesson in love we can do every year they're with me! They can even do it with their dad if they want to!
12. Make a holiday playlist
Most of the time, you already have everything you need in the palm of your hand - this time, on Spotify! Whether you are jamming to all the different versions of 'Last Christmas' or belting to Mariah Carey's iconic Christmas album, music is the heartbeat of any celebration. Let your kids pick some tunes, and voilà, you've got your unique family holiday playlist.
Dancing in the living room? Totally mandatory.
Trust me, nothing beats those impromptu dance sessions! Now, my daughters are starting to prep for their school presentations, so TikTok dances are playing on repeat in our house. I think by the next stage of the calendar, I would have memorised at least one of those dance moves.
Try it – your youngsters will love it!
13. Go to a tree-lighting event
Lights, camera, Christmas!
You can wrap up in your cosiest scarves (cold season peeps only) and head out to see the big switch-on.
The combined oohs and aahs? Priceless. Bonus points if you bring along some homemade hot cocoa!
The first time we watched a tree light up post-separation, there was this beautiful moment of awe. Holding my daughters' hands in mine, I realised the magic of the season was right there with us.
14. Go skating, ice skating or rollerskating
Whether it's gliding on ice or rolling on four wheels, it's a splendid way to bond. And if your skating skills are a tad rusty, no worries! Your kiddos will have a blast helping you out.
Our first skating adventure was full of hilarious slips, slides, and endless laughter. I might've spent more time on the floor than on my feet, but hearing my daughters' giggles was totally worth it.
Going ice skating isn't simply one of the holiday customs you can celebrate as divorced parents. It can also be a ritual you can do with your little ones on every special occasion (or whenever you feel like it!).
15. Write letters to Santa
"Dear Santa, all I want for Christmastime is five minutes of peace (and maybe some wine)." That sounds right, mums?
But in all seriousness, writing letters to Santa is a heartwarming practice, especially for children in co-parenting families. It will put them at ease as they often worry that Santa won't know where they are on Christmas Day.
One year, as we penned our wishes, my youngest daughter wrote, "For mummy to smile a lot." It was a heart-melting moment, reminding me of the simple joys.
This year, I'm secretly hoping Santa gets my memo for a spa day!
16. Make DIY presents
Ah, the magic of homemade Yuletide presents. From salt dough ornaments to hand-painted mugs, who doesn't love some crafty fun?
And hey, if things go a little off-course and you end up covered in glitter, just keep in mind: it's not messy; it's delightful!
Remember, every imperfection was a perfect memory in the making. Just make sure to come up with strategies for managing Christmas gifts.
17. Go to church
Now, this is one of the Christian world's Nativity practices that we never take for granted, even with a co-parent.
Going to church (not just at this time of year) is a great reminder for our kids to be thankful for the blessings and for each other. Let us teach them to cherish even the smallest things. I believe having a strong faith is a powerful way to build resilience. It's also a great time to relax.
I'm incredibly lucky that my daughters understand our situation and continue to be good girls despite the absence of… my ex. And for that, I'll be forever grateful.
18. Dress up in hilarious Christmas-themed outfits
Enough with the serious talk!
Want a memorable Yuletide party with your kiddos? Dressing up in hilarious outfits works every time!
You don't have to buy new ones if you need to watch what you spend. You can put together your very own silly costume for a more personal touch!
I'm sure your little ones will be more than willing to help with such a fun DIY project.
19. Get family photos done by a professional photographer
One of my absolute favourite holiday customs is capturing the essence of the season with a photoshoot, even with the constraints of traditional setups.
You can do the shoot in a studio or at home. You can use the aforementioned hilarious outfits and take pictures while wearing them.
If your kids get a bit shy, it's often effective to play some jolly Yuletide tunes to break the ice.
These snapshots in time are treasured keepsakes that will remind us that family is forever, no matter the distance.
Professional photographers are quite busy during the holidays, though, so make sure to book them ahead of time.
20. Make a Countdown to Christmas chain
Now this holiday custom will definitely bring so much anticipation and excitement.
As soon as December hits, create a countdown-to-Christmas chain.
Each day, tear off a link, getting you one step closer to the big day. And as the most wonderful time of the year approaches, your kids' enthusiasm will surely double!
This simple Yule ritual is a tangible representation of shared excitement, especially for your little ones, who can't wait for Santa to arrive.
Top tips for holiday traditions for separated families (cont.)
21. Decorate the house and yard in a new way
Family traditions have their charm. But every year, we spice things up a bit when it comes to decorating the house and the yard.
It could be a different colour scheme, homemade ornaments, or a new outdoor display.
This year, I'm planning to swap out our usual twinkly white lights for a rainbow of colours. I can't wait to see my daughters' faces once they see the result!
Change keeps things fresh and helps us embrace the holiday spirit in unique, unexpected, and thoroughly delightful ways.
22. Make Christmas coupons for the family
Homemade Christmas-themed coupons are more than just pieces of paper; they will be something that keeps on giving, making your post-holiday days just as special.
You can craft personalised coupons for things like cozy movie nights, breakfast in bed, or a day at the park. Or you can purchase gift coupons if you don't have time.
These thoughtful tokens will remind us that the best presents aren't found under the tree but in the moments we share.
23. Have an ugly Christmas sweater contest
Who doesn't love a good laugh during the holiday season?
A couple of years back, we threw caution (and fashion sense) to the winter wind and declared an "Ugly Christmas Sweater Day" at home.
Now, it's an annual Christmastime ritual where we compete to see who can find or create the most hilariously awful sweater.
If you want to try it, you can scour thrift shops for cheap but silly ensembles. You can also raid the closet of their grandparents. Telling them it's supposed to be for an ugly sweater competition is totally unnecessary.
24. Play fun Christmas-themed games or board games
Games are a great way to bond during the holidays.
To complete the vibe, turn your living room into a joyful game zone.
Make sure you have a variety of games, from Yuletide charades to holiday-themed board games.
Start with Monopoly, Jenga, or Scrabble. You can also ask your kids what they want. You can even prepare a prize for the winner to keep your kiddos' competitive juices running!
25. Have a Secret Santa gift exchange
To bring a dash of mystery and fun, we introduced a Secret Santa twist at home. It was just the three of us, so not so secret, but boy, was it fun!
The rules were simple: a modest budget and a whole lot of creativity. No wrapping paper is required.
Year after year, we continue the spirit of giving with this gift exchange, even if we can't be together physically.
We make sure to send our gifts with love, creating an air of mystery and excitement as we await the big reveal. It's a wonderful way to surprise each other and show that we're thinking of one another, no matter the miles that separate us.
26. Make and decorate a gingerbread house
Gingerbread houses are a must in our household. Whenever it's my turn to spend the holidays with my daughters, we spend an afternoon baking and decorating our own delicious creations.
It's a hands-on practice that allows us to be creative, embrace our inner architects, and indulge in some sweet treats. These edible abodes are more than just sugary structures; they're edible masterpieces that bring us together.
27. Watch the sunrise on Christmas Day
This December 25, I want to try something different with my kids.
Wrapped in cozy blankets with warm mugs of cocoa, we'll sit on our porch and witness the sun come up.
I'm sure that watching the sunrise on the morning of the 25th will bring a sense of peace and calm to our day.
It's not just about witnessing the first light. It's about taking a moment of reflection and gratitude before the excitement of gift-giving and festivities begins.
28. Make special food for Santa and his helpers
Even though my daughters are growing up, we still leave out a plate of cookies and a glass of milk for Santa, along with some carrots for his reindeer. It's a Yule custom that can keep the magic of the season alive as harmonious two-home families.
Instead of the usual milk and cookies, you can give Santa and his reindeer a gourmet treat. You can prepare baked mini carrot muffins and whip up a special spiced cocoa just for Santa.
29. Have a treasure hunt
Who says you need a map for buried treasure?
With little clues hidden in Christmas-themed socks, behind baubles, and even tucked inside the fridge, your home can turn into an adventurous treasure trail!
For the prizes, you can award a homemade Yuletide ornament or a day of choosing all your activities. The gleam in your little pirate's eyes will shine brighter than any treasure chest full of gold!
30. Give to charity
Lastly, amidst all the wonderful fun, we always make it a point to give back during the holiday season.
I want my daughters to remember the true spirit of the season – giving.
Sometimes, we would sort through toys and clothes and pack up gently used items to donate. Additionally, we set aside a portion of our holiday budget to contribute to a local charity.
Whether it's volunteering at a local shelter, donating to a food drive, or sponsoring a family in need, teaching my children the importance of kindness and generosity is a tradition I hold dear. More importantly, it's an incredible way to spend time with your family while giving them the tools to becoming better human beings.
Final thoughts on new Christmastide customs for divorced families
Navigating Christmas as a single parent offers the perfect opportunity to create traditions that celebrate your unique family dynamics. Rather than focusing on what has changed, these new customs allow you to embrace the magic of the season in fresh, meaningful ways. Each activity you adopt builds cherished memories and helps your children feel secure, loved, and connected as much as possible, even if you're divorced.
Also, remember that these moments aren't just about the festivities. Instead, they're building blocks for your children's resilience and joy, a constant in the midst of change. So, approach this season with an open heart and embrace the laughter, love, and traditions that will define many Christmases to come for everyone involved.
