Father's Day can be a tender time for families, especially when a dad isn't actively present. But just because things are different doesn’t mean the day has to be difficult or uncomfortable. Even if your ex has stepped away from his role after the divorce, you’re never alone in making this day meaningful. There are simple, heartfelt ways to enjoy the occasion that can fill the day with joy rather than sorrow. No need to worry, Mum—I've gathered some easy, uplifting ideas to help you and your children create special memories this Father's Day without any feelings of loss or sadness.
Further reading: Books to help kids deal with an absent dad.
How to deal with Father's Day with an absent Dad
Understanding your kid's emotions
Father's Day can be tough for kids without their dad around. Whether he’s just not there physically or is emotionally distant, this day might make that absence stand out even more. Your child might feel sad, confused, or even mad about it.
It’s important to remind them that whatever they’re feeling is totally okay. Having a chat about it can really help them sort through it all. You could say something like, "I know it’s hard not having your dad here today. It’s okay to be sad or mad about it." Letting them know their emotions are valid can make all the difference in helping them get through the day.
A different Father’s Day celebration
Just because your child’s biological father is not around doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Father’s Day. It might just look a little different. One idea is to celebrate the other important men in your kid's life. Whether it’s an uncle, grandpa, or a family friend who’s always been there, these relationships can be just as meaningful.
You could plan a small get-together or do something special with these father figures. It helps your child see that even though their biological father isn’t around, they still have people who love and support them.
Further reading: Finding positive male role models for your children.
Remembering the good times
Father’s Day can also be a time to reflect on the good times if there are any. If your kid's father was once a part of their life, talking about those good times might comfort them. Look through old photos together or share happy stories. It keeps their dad’s memory alive without focusing on his shortcomings.
But if the past relationship was rocky or painful, be careful with these conversations. You might focus more on the idea that everyone makes mistakes and it’s okay to feel hurt. Let your child know that their father’s absence isn’t their fault and that it’s okay to have complicated feelings about it.
Further reading: Where is dad? Explaining an absent father.
Handling school events and social situations
School events around Father’s Day without a father can be difficult. Making Father’s Day cards or having father-child activities at school can be a stark reminder that their dad is not there. It’s a good idea to prepare your child and help them better understand these situations ahead of time.
Have an honest talk with them before these events. You can say, “I know it's tough when everyone else is making something for their dad. But we can find another way to celebrate that’s just for us.” You could plan something fun to do together after school or help them make a card for a different male role model in their life. It’s also helpful to inform their teachers that the children's father left. Most teachers will be understanding and might offer alternative activities.
Keeping the Mum pep talk going
Father’s Day is a great time to have those deeper conversations with your child about their dad. They might have questions or just want to talk more about why their dad isn’t around. It’s important to be honest, but also to keep things age-appropriate.
If they ask why their dad isn’t here, you could say something like, “I don’t know all the reasons, but what matters is that you have people who love you very much.” This can help reassure them, even if they don’t have all the answers.
It’s also helpful to let them know they’re not the only ones going through this. You could share stories about other kids who’ve grown up without their fathers and have done just fine. This can show them that while it’s tough, it doesn’t define who they are or what they can achieve.
Create new traditions
One way to make Father’s Day easier is to create new traditions that are all about your family and the things you love to do together. This could be anything from a special outing to a relaxing day at home doing your favourite activities. The goal is to build positive memories around Father’s Day that aren’t tied to their dad’s absence. This will make Father’s Day a day that your child looks forward to, not one they dread.
Further reading: Father’s Day ideas to help your child if dad’s not around.
What about step-parents and new relationships?
If you are in a new relationship and there’s a step-parent involved, Father’s Day can be a good time to honour this new family. Let your child know that it’s okay to celebrate the father figures in their life such as their step-dad, uncle, or grandfather.
But make sure you are mindful of their emotions about their father. They might be conflicted about honouring someone else in place of their dad. Keep the communication open, and you might say something like, “It’s okay to miss your dad and still appreciate the people who are here for you now.”
Wrapping it up: How to handle Father's Day with an absent father
Celebrating without a dad on Father's Day isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be a sad day. I've discovered that a little creativity and a lot of love can turn it into a joyous celebration for everyone. Whatever you plan to do, you have the power to make this day meaningful for your kiddo. And in doing so, you are showing them that while their dad’s absence is part of their life, it doesn’t define who they are or what their future will be like.
Remember, no matter how frustrated you are that their daddy is MIA, never talk about the absent parent negatively (in front of your kids, at least). After all, he's still your kids' father. You are already doing an amazing job, Mum. This Father’s Day, take a moment to recognise you’re not just a mother. You’re everything your child needs to flourish, even when their dad is absent.
