You achieved plenty of things in your life, make enough money, and consider yourself to be successful in your career. You know exactly what you want and how to get it. But why do you struggle to find a man who can commit?
In this modern age where we encourage girls to be ambitious, educated, and shine in the boardroom, many women can now do what men can. Unfortunately, we still expect women to play the submissive role in a relationship. Dating then becomes tougher for successful women as it takes a confident man not to be intimidated.
While not all men are the same, it takes a special man with a stronger sense of self to truly appreciate a strong woman and not feel threatened by her.
In this post, we’ll help you understand why a kind, smart, and financially independent woman like you find it hard to attract a guy that’s right for you.
The better your life is, the fewer eligible men you can find
More so than men, successful women have the tendency to prefer partners who are “better” than they are. This creates a problem because the better a successful woman is in life, the harder it is to find a partner above or within her level.
Ladies tend to be attracted to men ahead of them. So, the farther she reaches in life, the fewer men she can find. They think that having a big salary can increase their options for finding a partner, but often, the opposite is true.
Sure, you can reproduce without a functioning man, but dating men who aren’t successful or less than you are can feel like “settling.”
Not all men get attracted to female success
It’s not that guys don’t like financially independent women. However, they do have lower “success standards” compared to women as they value things like age, submissiveness, and a nurturing disposition. Guys only value professional success up to a specific point and never above their current level.
In fact, studies show that above a certain threshold, guys indeed find female intelligence a turn-off. And when he feels that she is smarter than him, he loses attraction (PubMed). While ladies prefer more dominant guys, men prefer more submissive women (SpringerLink). This is why you see many business tycoons have longer relationships with low-key women.
Alpha males try to steer clear from “alpha females” when dating as this means more battles for relationship control than mutual caring. Guys may not want to admit it, but they prefer to go home to a woman who helps them unwind rather than spend the day arguing with a corporate fighter.
Men prefer looks over success.
The point’s already made that men prefer a woman who’s less accomplished than he is. Yet, there are still couples that match and stay together in terms of value.
Why is this?
This is because these two genders’ exchange in the sexual marketplace isn’t exactly the same. For example, beauty, a not-so-attractive man can marry a beautiful woman because he makes up with resources like being rich. Men values youth and attractiveness, while successful women give importance to looks, social status, and resources, as confirmed by research from ResearchGate.
Men think of career women as not feminine.
The de-feminization of a successful woman whose career is running smoothly is not entirely the lady’s fault. In most businesses and industries, they reward traits that are more masculine than feminine. Because their career requires it, many successful women become more masculine to climb the corporate ladder.
Unfortunately, studies prove that many men prefer feminine women (PubMed).
Most successful women don’t date assertively.
Contrary to how career women act in the boardroom, they act passively when it comes to dating. A successful woman may have a false belief that her accomplishments make her a great catch and easier to find love. This could lead to frustration if her view is not recognised by the men they date.
According to Mark Gimenin, game theory factually predicts that successful women lose out in dating because they feel like they have a strong hand. They don’t bid aggressively enough. Then, the least successful ladies come into the picture. They’re fun, ready to bid anytime and pair up with a successful man.
So, what’s the solution?
This article may sound a bit depressing for successful women looking to date and find a good guy. But knowing the truth in the dating scene will set you free from your misconceptions and get down to solutions that work.
Whether you’re going to accept it or not is entirely up to you. As much as masculinity needs to be redefined so that men don’t need to be dominant to feel worthy in a relationship, successful women also have to face reality.
If you care about getting married but don’t want to sacrifice your high-paying job just to find the right partner, consider joining Evan Marc Katz Love U. Evan is a dating coach for smart, successful women looking to find a man who’s ready to commit, take care of you, and make you feel understood.