In this article, I discuss why you should think twice before blasting your divorce all over social media.
Divorce is a real pain in the you-know-what. Let’s face it, it’s not exactly a walk in the park. But trust me, if you think it’s ok to share the nitty-gritty details of your divorce online, you might want to pump the brakes a bit.
When you’re going through a tough time, it’s natural to want to seek comfort and support from your friends and family. But before you hit that “post” button and start venting about your ex to the entire internet, consider the potential consequences. Things like:
Do you really want your personal business out there for all to see?
Do you want to risk damaging your reputation or hurting your children’s feelings?
Is social media the right way to share such intimate family information?
Here are some good reasons not to plaster your divorce all over social media.
Further reading: How to use social media positively after a separation.
It will make things worse
When a relationship ends, it is often an emotional rollercoaster for all involved, even in the most amicable separations.
Time and distance are great healers, yet posting about your separation on social media or even changing your relationship status can cause anger, controversy and confrontation.
You and your ex are at different stages
You and your ex are most likely at different stages of your emotional journey for this breakup. You might be delighted it’s over but your ex is not, and seeing you post “freeeeedom” GIFs on Facebook could be hurtful and unnecessary.
This works both ways. We don’t want to cause further hurt or be hurt ourselves.
Hurtful comments (even unintentional ones) don’t just create tension between you and your ex but also impact extended family members and friends.
Does anyone really want to know?
There is only so much information people want to read about when they scroll through their social media accounts.
Friends don’t need to know who retained the antique dinner service, nor do they need to be party to the gory details of a recent argument. As for getting an hourly update on your “feelings” about the separation … I’m sorry to break it to you, but it may create some eye rolls.
What seems important to you is not to other people, and sharing finer details of divorce on social media may make you look petty and a wee bit crazy.
It could be awkward or embarrassing
Think carefully before you make any announcements about the end of your relationship.
We’ve all seen those posts where people announce “it’s definitely over” only to be followed up by a “it’s back on” post.
Not only can this be awkward and embarrassing for yourself and your former partner, but also for friends who may have made comments they now regret.
It could end up in family court
Did you know a social media post about divorce can be used as evidence in family court proceedings?
Depending on the post’s content, it may be admissible as evidence of a party’s state of mind or their behaviour leading up to or during the divorce process.
For example, if one party makes derogatory comments about the other on social media, this could be used to support allegations of misconduct or hostility towards the other party.
It is essential to be mindful of what is posted on social media during a divorce proceeding, as it could potentially be used against a party in court.
Remember that social media will stand up as evidence in a Family Court.
Your employer might see it
Sure, telling the world about your ex’s inability to put the toilet seat down or their love for Nickelback might feel cathartic, but do you really want your potential employer to see that?
Imagine going in for a job interview and they first ask, “So, we saw your Facebook post about your messy divorce. Can you tell us more about that?”
Yeah, I don’t think so. It’s better to keep those details private, or at least share them with your therapist instead of your 1,000+ social media friends.
Erase the temptation to plaster your divorce all over social media
It’s easy to get carried away if you see a post from your ex, his family or his mates which triggers you. It may feel like the only way to deal with it is to add a negative comment to the thread or post something yourself which may cause him the pain you feel.
These split-second decisions are often bad ones.
To prevent it from happening, lock or unfollow your partner, their family and friends. All social media platforms allow you to stop following or stop seeing content from people you’re connected to. Even if it is only temporary, avoiding seeing pictures or content from your ex and the people in their lives can allow you time to heal a little.