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Life as a single mum can be exhilarating, exhausting, and everything in between. When the overwhelm hits hard and you feel like you’re barely holding things together, it’s easy to start believing there’s something wrong with you. But as counsellor and fellow single mum Elle Sitek shared in this episode of the Beanstalk Real‑Talk podcast, emotional restoration for single mums is not about fixing yourself – it’s about gently reclaiming your emotional balance and remembering who you are.
In this post, we unpack the key points from that conversation and provide you with a roadmap to transition from survival mode to calm connection. You’ll hear stories of lived experience, learn how to recognise the early signs of emotional overload, discover practical tools for emotional regulation and find hope for the days when everything feels like too much.
Breaking the Silence: Recognising Overwhelm and Shame
Many mums don’t seek help until they’ve hit rock bottom. As Elle explained, women often describe a cocktail of exhaustion, shame and relief when they finally admit that they can’t keep living like this. The shame comes from feeling like they should be coping; the relief comes from finally speaking the truth. If you recognise yourself in that description, know that you are not alone. Overwhelm is not a personal failure – it’s a sign that you’ve been carrying too much for too long.
Why We Stay in Survival Mode
Society tells mums they must handle everything alone, and that any form of rest is laziness. Cultural conditioning and chronic stress loops make it hard for single mums to ask for help, so rest is often misinterpreted as weakness. Many of us function in survival mode for years because we fear that if we stop even for a second, everything will collapse. Recognising this pattern is the first step towards emotional restoration. It enables you to shift from self-blame to self-compassion.
Elle’s Own Wake‑Up Call
Elle openly shared that she, too, reached a breaking point. At her lowest, she believed her daughter would be better off without her. A vivid dream of her little girl crying out for her became the catalyst for change. That moment taught her that emotional restoration for single mums doesn’t begin with external solutions – it starts with the courage to admit you need support and the decision to take small steps towards healing.
Listening to Your Nervous System: Early Warning Signs
Emotional overload often sneaks up gradually. You might notice small shifts before a full‑blown crash. Here are some early signs that your nervous system is begging for a reset:
- Forgetfulness: You keep misplacing items, missing appointments or forgetting basic tasks.
- Irritability: Minor frustrations spark outsized reactions, and you find yourself snapping at your kids or yourself.
- Physical tension: Jaw clenching, tight shoulders, or chronic headaches may be telling you something.
- Sleep disruptions: Waking wired at 3 a.m. or falling into bed exhausted but unable to switch off.
- Emotional numbness: Feeling detached or “checked out” can be just as much of a red flag as feeling angry or teary.
Noticing these signs early gives you the chance to intervene with self‑care and support before burnout forces you to stop. If you’re experiencing persistent physical symptoms such as tummy aches, nausea or fatigue, it’s also wise to consult your GP or a health professional to rule out underlying medical issues.
Emotional Restoration for Single Mums - Practical Tools
Once you’ve recognised that your body and mind are running on empty, the next step is to find ways to reset. In the podcast, Elle offered a variety of grounding techniques that are simple enough to use in the middle of chaos. Here are some favourites:
The 5‑4‑3‑2‑1 Sensory Check‑In
When panic rises or you feel disconnected, this exercise brings you back to the present moment. Take a deep breath and name:
- 5 things you can see – look around and notice colours, shapes or light.
- 4 things you can touch – feel the fabric of your clothes, the texture of your chair or the warmth of your tea.
- 3 things you can hear – tune in to distant traffic, birdsong or the hum of the fridge.
- 2 things you can smell – perhaps coffee brewing or fresh laundry.
- 1 thing you can taste – maybe the remnants of breakfast or a mint.
This quick check‑in grounds your senses and sends a signal to your nervous system that you are safe.
Hand‑On‑Heart Breathing
Elle describes calm not as controlling life but as regulating ourselves. One of her favourite strategies is a hand‑on‑heart pause: place your hand over your heart, take three slow breaths, and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Allow the answer to be gentle – perhaps a glass of water, a stretch, or simply sitting down for a moment. Then take one small action to meet that need. This practice is the cornerstone of emotional restoration for single mums, and it works because it reconnects you to your inner wisdom and counters the urge to push through at all costs.
The Letterbox Dash (Yes, Really!)
Sometimes you need to physically move to burn off adrenaline. Elle recommended doing something unexpected, like running to your letterbox and back, or shaking out your limbs to discharge pent‑up energy. Don’t worry about how it looks – your body will thank you for it.
Create Micro‑Moments of Calm
You don’t need hours of alone time (though wouldn’t that be nice?). Look for opportunities to turn mundane tasks into grounding practices. When the kettle boils, take a moment to breathe deeply. At a red traffic light, do a mini check‑in. These small acts accumulate and help you stay regulated throughout the day.
Watch Emotional Restoration for Single Mums Podcast on YouTube
Letting Go of Guilt: Reframing Your Inner Critic
So many mums feel guilty for slowing down, resting or asking for help. Elle emphasised that guilt is simply a signal – it shows you care, but it doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong. To discern between helpful and harmful guilt:
- Useful guilt leads to action. If you snapped at your child, the guilt nudges you to apologise and repair.
- Unhelpful guilt loops with shame and drains your energy without offering a way forward. It sounds like “I’m a bad mum” or “I should do more,” without any clear solution.
When unhelpful guilt shows up, try switching “I should” to “I choose.” For example, instead of “I should bake muffins for the school fundraiser,” say, “I choose to buy store‑bought muffins this time because my energy is limited.” This shift moves you from a place of pressure to a place of conscious choice. Over time, it rewires your self‑talk towards compassion.
Rediscovering You: Reconnecting With Yourself and Others
During the podcast, Elle encouraged mums to remember who they are beyond the never‑ending to‑do list. Emotional restoration for single mums isn’t just about feeling less overwhelmed; it’s about rekindling a sense of self.
Here’s how:
Start a Tiny Reflection Ritual
Each evening, ask yourself three questions and jot down your answers:
- What drained me today? Identifying energy drains helps you set boundaries tomorrow.
- What filled me up, even a little? Notice small joys – a hug from your child, a warm cuppa or a good song on the radio.
- What do I need tomorrow – more or less of? This might be more sleep, less scrolling, more connection or less rushing.
This practice builds self‑awareness and helps you make small adjustments that lead to big shifts over time.
Revisit Old Joys (and Try New Ones)
What made you lose track of time before kids? Reading novels, painting, dancing to your favourite song? Bringing those activities back in small, realistic doses reminds you of the person you are beyond motherhood. If you feel stuck, try something new: consider a short online art class, journaling, or learning to knit. The goal is not productivity – it’s pleasure and reconnection.
Finding Your People
Isolation intensifies emotional overwhelm. Even one safe, understanding friend can make a huge difference. Consider joining our Single Mum Vine community or signing up for a local support group. Virtual communities can also offer 24/7 companionship. Emotional restoration for single mums leans into reciprocal vulnerability – share a tiny truth and invite someone to meet you there. Real connections act as an anchor when everything else feels unsteady.
Emotional Restoration for Single Mums Getting Extra Support
It’s easy to tell yourself you can’t seek help because you don’t have enough money or time or because your children “come first.” Elle gently challenges these excuses. She reminds us that our well-being is the foundation for our kids’ well-being – when you feel supported and regulated, your children benefit too. Instead of saying “I can’t afford it” or “I don’t have time,” try asking “What’s one small step I can take today to feel better?”
To make that first step accessible, Elle offers a super‑affordable and self‑paced Emotional Recovery course. This short program teaches you core nervous‑system tools and mindset shifts. You can work through it at your own pace, from your phone, and it costs less than a weekly takeaway. For mums who want personalised guidance, one‑on‑one counselling sessions are available. These sessions dive deeper into your unique story and help you unpack the beliefs and patterns keeping you stuck. If you’re ready for a more structured transformation, Elle also offers 4‑ and 6‑week coaching programs that blend education, accountability and practical tools. These packages help you rebuild confidence, set healthy boundaries and design a life that feels good.
Professional support doesn’t have to be out of reach. There are sliding‑scale services, community programs and payment plans for counselling. There’s a free peer community available through the Single Mum Vine group, where you can ask questions and share experiences. What matters most is that you don’t let a lack of time or funds stop you from seeking the support you deserve.
Tiny Emotional Reset for Busy Mums
Here’s a one‑minute exercise you can do anytime. It’s simple yet profoundly grounding:
Pause: Sit down if possible, place your hand over your heart and take three slow breaths.
Ask: “What do I need right now – not what should I be doing?” Listen to your body’s answer without judgement.
Act: Write down one small thing you can do to meet that need. It could be going to bed 15 minutes earlier, drinking water, sending a voice note to a friend or stepping outside for fresh air.
This micro‑reset introduces you to the core of emotional restoration single mum work: responding to yourself with kindness and commitment. When repeated daily, it rewires your nervous system to expect care instead of constant output.
Emotional Restoration for Single Mums FAQ
What does “emotional restoration for single mums” really mean?
Emotional restoration refers to the process of replenishing your emotional energy, healing from stress and trauma and regaining a sense of inner calm. For single mums, it’s about moving from survival mode to a place where you feel grounded, connected and capable again. It involves recognising your needs, regulating your nervous system and building supportive relationships.
How can I find emotional support as a single mum?
Support can come from many places: friends, family, other single mums, counsellors, coaches or online communities. Start by telling one trusted person how you’re feeling. Join our Single Mum Vine Facebook group for a safe space to share and ask questions. If you need professional guidance, consider counselling through your GP or an online platform.
What are some simple ways to practise emotional restoration for single mums?
Small, regular rituals make a big difference. Try the hand‑on‑heart breathing or sensory check‑in above. Keep a journal and answer the daily reflection questions. Listen to your favourite song and dance, no matter how awkward it feels. Choose one night per week to go to bed early. These small acts send a message to your brain that you matter.
When should I seek professional help?
If you’re experiencing persistent anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts or if your daily functioning is impacted (e.g. not eating, sleeping or caring for your kids), please reach out to a mental‑health professional. There is no shame in asking for help. In Australia, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7 crisis support), Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 for immediate support. If you are in danger, call emergency services on 000.
Bringing It All Together
Emotional restoration for single mums doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey of small, brave choices: choosing to notice your needs, to ask for help, to let go of unhelpful guilt and to reconnect with the things that bring you joy.
Elle’s story is a testament to the fact that profound change can come from tiny steps. Remember that you deserve support and rest, no matter what society says about single mums. As you practise the tools above, you’ll begin to move from overwhelm to a place of calm, clarity and connection.
If this article resonated with you, please share your thoughts in the comments below, sign up for our free newsletter or join our Single Mum Vine community to connect with other mums on a similar path.
You might also enjoy reading our posts on Rebuilding After Burnout and Navigating Conflict and Co‑Parenting (placeholders) for more practical wisdom.
Links for this episode:
🌸 Learn more about Elle → https://singlemamaway.com/support-for-single-mums-start-here
✨ Explore the Reset & Reflect emotional recovery course → https://singlemamaway.systeme.io/c0b4cdd0
👯♀️ https://www.facebook.com/groups/SingleMumVine — Don’t forget to join the Single Mum Vine on Facebook! It’s the perfect spot to connect with fellow single mums for support and advice.
🎙️ https://beanstalkmums.com.au/podcast — Our brand-new widget is live on the Beanstalk Mums website! Drop us a voice message with your thoughts or questions; you might hear them in a future episode.
You’ve got this! Let’s thrive together. And don’t forget to like and follow the podcast so you never miss an episode packed with inspiration and practical tips for your journey!
