If you’re anything like me, my kids bedtime routine is equal parts “aww, look at my sweet little one in their adorable pyjamas” and “why is this child negotiating like they’re at the UN summit?” For years, I thought other mums had bedtime sorted — you know, the ones who post photos of their kids peacefully cuddled up with a stuffed animal, while my kid was doing cartwheels at 9 pm.
It took time (and a few teary evenings) to realise there’s no perfect way to help children wind down — only what works best for your family. And honestly? That realisation alone made our nights feel a little lighter.
So let’s talk about the magical unicorn every mum craves: a routine that actually works.
Why do kids get hyper before bed?
They could be overtired?
Tired kids should go straight to sleep… right?
As much as parents want this to be true, overtired children are actually more likely to have a hard time falling asleep. Overtired kids also have problems listening, paying attention and following directions. For this reason, they are more likely to cause a ruckus when you attempt to whisk them off to bed.
If your kid is overtired because he or she isn't getting enough sleep at night, they'll also be tired during the day, increasing the likelihood they will misbehave and refuse to listen when you tell them it’s time to sleep. This vicious cycle of chaotic kids' bedtime can go on and on.
Or overstimulated?
Like kids who are too tired, overstimulated kids have a lot of trouble falling asleep. Overstimulation can come from many sources, but in this day and age, it’s usually electronics that are to blame.
Mobile phones, computers, television screens and gaming consoles all emit blue light that stimulates the brain and tricks it into believing it’s still daytime. These devices are a no-no, especially before bed, as they can interfere with sleep-regulating and promoting hormones melatonin and serotonin.
Another issue is too much physical activity or horseplay right before bed. This can make kids too wired to sleep.
Further reading: The ultimate guide to setting phone rules for kids
Causing havoc has become part of the routine.
Routine is a powerful tool when it comes to kids' bedtime. And this can go both ways. Kids who are used to going to bed at the same time each night without any fuss should fall asleep easily. But if your kids are used to getting away with causing chaos at bedtime, it will be harder for them to go to sleep when it’s time because they know that misbehaviour is part of the routine.
Predictable, consistent schedules, be it after-school play or dinnertime, help children feel in control because they know exactly what to expect. Take that away, and things can quickly descend into bedlam.
Their reptilian brain has taken over.
Here’s an interesting theory of why kids get hyper before bed, and might explain why your kids bedtime routine is always a battle: Their reptilian brain has taken over.
According to Tiny Beans:
“They have utilised their daily allowance of mental capacity…Once they have been awake for a certain number of hours and/or they have expended a certain amount of energy, their consciousness is shut down by the body in order to preserve the functionality of the brain for later use. While they may have some tendencies of their former selves, they are not actually cognisant of their surroundings, and even less so of their actions.”
Too much daytime sleep
Experts recommend that preschool children (3-5 years) get 10–13 hours of sleep and school-age children (6-12 years) get 9-12 hours. Many kids will get all their sleep hours at night, but some may need to nap during the day to make up the difference.
Just like bedtime, sticking to a consistent nap schedule is best. However, if your kid sleeps too much during the day or naps too close to bedtime, they will have a hard time falling asleep at night.
Establish routines to help kids avoid oversleeping during the day.
Late-night food
Hungry kids have a harder time falling asleep than kids who’ve had enough to eat. But that’s usually not the problem; it’s late-night snacking and snacking on sugary foods. Some kids go through a phase where they pretend to be hungry to put off bedtime as long as possible.
If they do ask for a snack, make sure to give them small portions and healthy options that promote sleep, like peanut butter, berries, eggs, milk and whole grains. Advice from Riley’s Children is:
“I tell parents to offer a snack high in protein or fibre. Foods that are primarily simple carbs and sugar, such as pop tarts, will make blood sugar rise and then fall quickly, leaving a child hungry again within an hour or two.”
Kids bedtime routine for your child to sleep better
A bedtime routine is simply a set of calm, predictable steps you repeat each night so your child knows when it’s time to go to sleep. Sounds simple, right? Except we all know real life involves lost plushies, dramatic brushing teeth protests, and surprise conversations about dinosaurs.
But here’s the thing: research shows a consistent kids bedtime routine can actually help kids feel more settled, especially younger children who thrive on predictability. A predictable routine lets your child know “it’s time.”
For us, this was life-changing. My daughter once needed stimulating activities until the literal moment she’d finally fall asleep. When we introduced a slow, structured rhythm, it felt like we both exhaled for the first time in years.
The beauty? It doesn’t need to be fancy; it just needs to be clear, simple, and repeatable. In my house, our routine involves:
- Dimming the lights
- Warm bath (on the nights I’m not too tired, of course!)
- Brushing their teeth
- Quiet storytime — usually reading a book or a short bedtime story
- A quick tidy of toys (30 seconds, max)
- A little cuddle and goodnight
These small steps created a rhythm that helps kids shift from “full of beans” to “okay, I might be ready to fall asleep now.”
Routines that work for your child
Designing a bedtime routine for your child really depends on your child’s age. Babies and toddlers need much shorter routines; school-age children may appreciate more independence. This means they're ready to choose their own stuffed animal or pick the next chapter to read.
My trick? Keep your kids bedtime routine flexible enough to feel human, but structured enough for them to count on. That little bit of predictability builds a real sense of security, which can help your child feel safe enough to drift off.
And remember, you don’t need to fit everything in. A routine that works best for your family is the right one.
Creating calm kids bedtime routines
Experts, and every pediatric sleep resource I’ve ever frantically Googled, agree that a calm atmosphere is key. The hour before bed (yes, a full hour before bed) is where the magic starts.
Things that help set the mood:
- Dimming the lights
- Keeping electronic devices out of sight (that blue light really does make it harder)
- Soft music or a gentle lullaby
- Light mindfulness and relaxation for us mums (AKA deep breathing so we don’t snap over missing pyjamas)
For me, the moment we replaced after-dinner TV with quiet colouring, my daughter’s ability to get to sleep improved massively.
More reading: 12 Bedtime books your kids will love.
Create a routine (without overthinking it)
If you're trying to create a bedtime routine from scratch, start with just 2–3 consistent steps. A warm bath, quick hygiene routine, and storytime are enough to begin resetting their sleep habits.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be predictable — a little routine that helps your little one recognise that the day will start winding down.
Help your child sleep better.
There are nights when even the best routines won’t help your kid drift off easily. Maybe they’re dealing with separation anxiety. Or they’re suddenly “not tired at all!” even though you watched them yawn a gazillion times.
On nights like those, I've learned that gradual changes lead to better sleep. Shorten the routine. Sit beside their bed for a minute before you leave the room. Offer reassurance. Those tiny shifts still help them feel supported.
And remember: if parenting teaches us anything, it’s that “works tonight” doesn’t always “work tomorrow.” You’re not alone in that.
What makes a good kids bedtime routine
A good bedtime routine includes:
- A consistent wake-up time (yes, even on the weekend)
- Calmer activities before bed
- Light physical activity during the day
- Clear boundaries and clear expectations
- Allowing your child to bed before they become overtired
When in doubt, make the bedtime routine simple. Consistency does most of the heavy lifting.
Here’s what surprised me most: once our rhythm settled, my daughter’s well-being improved. She woke happier, coped better at school, and honestly, so did I.
Toddler & preschoolers
If you’re in the toddler or preschoolers stage, bless you — this age is adorable, but exhausting.
For them, a sleep routine might look like:
- Bath
- Brushing teeth
- Choosing pajamas
- Short lullaby
- One bedtime story
- Quick tuck-in
- Goodnight
And yes, you will sometimes need to leave the room 47 times. Solidarity, mum.
Further reading: How to get your child to sleep in their own bed.
School-age children
For school-age children, bedtime gets a little easier, and sometimes a little trickier. They’re more independent, but they’re also excellent at stalling. The trick is keeping it consistent, giving them choices, and reminding them why these routines matter. Something like:
“Your body grows, and your brain gets stronger when you sleep better.”
Honestly, that line alone helped my daughter cooperate more often than I expected.
How to make kids bedtime routines last
The dos and don’ts (yes, here are your dos and don’ts):
Do:
- Stick to roughly the same times
- Use familiar steps
- Keep your kid's room cosy
- Keep your kid's cues predictable
Don’t:
- Introduce high-energy games before bed
- Skip routine steps (kids remember… too well!)
- Expect perfection
- Assume they’re “too old” for comfort items
Routine helps both of you breathe easier at the end of a long day.
Final thoughts: The ultimate kids bedtime routine guide
A bedtime routine isn’t just about sleep — it’s about connection, slowing down, and letting your child feel safe and loved. It’s also about helping your child fall asleep in a way that supports long-term healthy sleep and emotional well-being.
Your nights won't always be easy, but with a simple, consistent bedtime routine, they do become gentler. And you deserve gentle nights, mum. So here’s your reminder: you’re doing beautifully — and your best is more than enough.
