If you've been wanting to meet someone, you won't only find them on WhatsApp or Instagram. You can also find your potential Mr Right through online dating. If you're new to this, trust me; I’ve seen how dating someone you met online can actually lead to romantic success. But the million-dollar question is: how do you decode an online dating profile?
Yes, you have to pay close attention to certain details. And let’s face it, finding the time (and energy) to swipe through profiles between making dinner and helping with homework can feel like an Olympic event.
Don't worry! I'm here, so you don't have to do a lot of trial and error. I wrote this guide based on experiences so you can spend less time scratching your head and more time finding someone worth your attention. So grab a cup of coffee and read on!
Dating Life 101: Decipher a guy’s online dating profile
In traditional dating, it's a rule of thumb to go on at least a few dates before knowing everything about them. However, online dating apps let you know him by looking through his profile. Is he "laid-back," or does that mean he’s perpetually late? Does "adventurous" mean hiking trips or binge-watching Netflix in bed? Paying close attention to these details will help you decipher who he really is.
His Username
A guy's user ID on a dating site can offer subtle clues about his personality before you even exchange a message. Often, usernames are meant to stand out, but they can also reflect a lot about how he sees himself or what he's looking for. If it’s something playful like “AdventureGuy,” he might be trying to show off his fun, spontaneous side. A more straightforward Bumble handle like “JohnSmithNYC” could mean he's serious about getting to know someone and isn’t into games. But be wary of overly suggestive or immature usernames—they may hint at less genuine intentions. While a user ID is just the tip of the iceberg, it means something more. It’s the first impression before you dig deeper into his profile.
His profile picture (and selfies)
One photo can say things about his personality. The classic mirror selfie might suggest he’s into his looks, but maybe just lacks a better photographer. Group photos? He might be social, but now you’re left playing “Where’s Waldo” trying to figure out which one he is. Maybe he’s fun in a good way, but it could also suggest he’s a bit of a follower. A guy with sunglasses in every shot means he's either mysterious, insecure or just hiding something! The outdoorsy hiking photo could mean he's genuinely adventurous, or just trying to impress. Photos that show pets are bonus points. He’s either an animal lover or knows pets score likes. And then there are the gym shots, flexing those muscles—confidence or maybe a bit of vanity?
When it comes to finding meaning behind his profile pic, remember that sometimes what he’s trying to show might not be the full story! One image isn't enough to assess his personality. So it would be good to browse more photos in his account.
What he says vs. what he means
A guy might present himself in a certain way to stand out, but his words might tell another story if you know how the meaning behind them.
- "I’m looking for someone fun": Fun is great, but fun can also be vague. What does he mean by fun? Does he want someone spontaneous, or is he avoiding anything serious? As a single mom, you’re probably looking for a balance between fun and stability, so make sure to dig deeper if things seem too carefree.
- "No drama": If a man mentions this, it might be a sign he’s dealt with difficult relationships in the past, or he’s trying to make it clear that he’s not interested in dealing with complicated situations. But life as a single mum can be messy sometimes, kids get sick, and work is demanding. So you’ll need someone who can handle real life, not someone looking for a drama-free fairy tale.
Decode an online dating profile without a private dating coach
Red flags to watch for
Going over a guy's account can tell a lot. It gives you an early warning about potential red flags. Here’s what to look for:
- Vague descriptions: If his profile doesn’t say much about who he is, he might be hiding something or not taking things seriously. A lack of effort in his profile could reflect a lack of effort in a relationship.
- Too much focus on looks: If every other line is about how attractive he thinks you are (or he is), he might be more interested in appearances than building a connection. This is a big no-no if you're looking for someone who values more than just surface-level attraction.
- Overly negative: If he likes to share and complain about “crazy exes” or what he doesn’t want in a relationship, he might not be over his past or is still carrying baggage. It’s a big no if he’s more focused on what he doesn’t want than what he’s looking for.
His hobbies – Does it show his authentic self?
Hobbies can tell you a lot about a person, but dudes often put up a front to look more appealing. Before going on a first date with someone you met online, pay attention to how his interests align with your life.
- "I love to travel": We’ve all seen this one. Sure, travel is great, but is this guy looking to jet-set around the world every other weekend? If you’re balancing work and kids, your idea of travel might be a weekend getaway, not hopping across Europe at a moment’s notice.
- "Fitness fanatic": If he’s constantly at the gym, it could be a healthy habit, or he might expect you to join in. Can you fit gym sessions between packing lunches and school runs? Maybe, maybe not.
- "Netflix and chill": This one’s tricky. Is he really into quality couch time, or is he using the phrase as code for something else? You probably know the answer, but make sure you’re both on the same page!
His bio
I also found that checking his bio helps a lot. A misogynistic bio means he probably doesn’t respect women or believes in outdated stereotypes. When you encounter one of these, you know what to do, hit that unmatch button immediately!
He might already have kids, be open to the idea, or be completely against it. Know if he's looking for a relationship with a fellow single parent. Dating with children can be challenging, but there are plenty of single dads who understand and respect your family dynamic.
Did you know that we, as single mothers, make fabulous dates. But if first impressions raise your eyebrow, trust your instincts and click next!
Summary: The secret behind a man's online dating profile
Deciphering a guy's online dating account can really help you figure out what he's looking for—whether it's to meet someone for a serious relationship or just a hookup. Men often give little clues about their intentions, so take the time to read carefully. If he talks about values, life goals, or meaningful dating experiences, he’s probably looking for something serious. But if his profile focuses on fun and physical attraction, that could be a sign he’s more into casual connections. These little indicators can save you time and help you find someone on the same page as you. And watch out for those negative remarks about ex-girlfriends! Whether you’re after a long-term relationship or something casual, knowing what to look for in a profile will make you find the right guy.
Finally, it helps to know what you want. Do you want someone witty? Are you not looking for anything serious? You should be able to feel comfortable during your first date; if not, walk away.
