The single mother guide to New Year resolutions

The single mother guide to New Year resolutions | Beanstalk Mums

The single mother guide to New Year resolutions.

As you enter a brand new year you may have mixed emotions. Has it been a year to remember fondly or will it be swiftly committed to the ‘could have been better’ memory bank? Either way, now is a great time to think about new beginnings … most specifically, New Year resolutions.

No doubt your life revolves around the little people in your world and the desire to make them happy. You may rarely focus on yourself and feel that goals and aspirations are for other people, and not for you. If this is the case then … stop … right … there. You have just as much right to follow your dreams. And in doing so your children will follow in your footsteps and learn to aim high and follow their dreams too.

So when life’s so busy that you barely have time to stroke the cat, how do you set resolutions that will kick-start you through the first week of January and beyond?

Here is our single mother guide to New Year resolutions.

The single mother guide to New Year resolutions


One of the biggest set-backs to achieving goals is attempting to do too much once. As a multi-tasking-single-mother-extraordinaire you’ll be perfectly capable of cooking dinner/washing-up/doing homework all at the same time. Yet, life goals require more focus if they’re to end with success. Try to work on just one goal at a time. Once you’ve made good headway, you can consider another.


We all know how charged-up and excited motivation can make us feel. The build-up period prior to beginning a resolution is fuelled with desire and propels you through the first stage of your goal achievement. This will naturally wane as time goes by. Make sure you put measures in place to leverage this motivation. Try placing alluring pictures around the house of what you’re trying to achieve or write a mission statement to capture your most motivated moments.


Why get obsessed with starting your resolutions on 1 January? There are lots of other days in the year which are ripe for restyling your life. When you think of it, your birthday is your own personal New Year – so a perfect time for new beginnings. Maybe set one resolution on New Year and spread the others throughout the year, allowing you to focus on each one individually.


In the dizzy haze of festive celebrations you can be forgiven for aiming a little high with your New Year resolutions. Then as 2020 takes shape and is just as hectic as the previous year, you realise you were somewhat over-ambitious. Before you make grand plans, consider whether they are actually achievable along-side all the other elements in your life. And, if they’re not, simplify them so you have a better chance of success.


Make sure your resolution is based on a framework of positivity. Don’t think negatively about what you DON’T want. Instead think of positively about what you DO want. Choose your words and thoughts carefully. So instead of saying ‘I’m going to get out of my crappy job and all the long hours’, you could say ‘I’m going to find a better job with more suitable hours’. Same goal – said differently.


It’s fun and exciting setting New Year resolutions, and quite frankly, the bigger the better. But if your resolution is too big the reward of achieving it may be a long way off, making it hard to stick with the programme. Break it down into smaller goals so each one is quicker and easier to achieve. This way you’ll revel in success sooner and will be inspired to keep going.

The single mother guide to New Year resolutions (cont.)


Being a single mum means your children are intricately linked to everything you do. So whether you (or they) like it or not, they’ll be involved in your resolution process and will be affected by the end result. Keep them in the picture. Explain what you’re doing and why. And depending on their ages, involve them in the process. It’s a valuable learning experience for them to see you aspire, strive and ultimately reach your goals.


It’s all very well making grand announcements about your resolutions, impressing everyone who cares to listen. However, unless you’ve thought it through carefully and laid the necessary plans you’ll be a like a plane without a pilot. You’ll know your destination but have nothing to get you there. Don’t crash and burn by mid-January because you didn’t think it through. Put a plan in place so you know where you’re headed as soon as the New Year begins.


Let be honest here. How do we get our children to do stuff? We bribe them! We all know the power of rewards. So make sure you set some for yourself. Consider the different phases of your resolution and plan to reward yourself accordingly. You’ll find yourself propelled through the attainment process if you know there’s a reward in store. And heck, you deserve them too.


Get a support team around you to help you stick with your resolution. This could be friends, family (including your most loyal fans – your children), even work colleagues. If you know someone else with a resolution agree with them that you’ll help each other. There are lots of online support groups to help with the more common goals such as losing weight or giving up smoking.

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