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I want to get a divorce, but my partner controls all the money. What do I do?

Divorce is an emotionally taxing journey, and the challenges are amplified when one partner has historically controlled the finances. The feeling of being financially disempowered can be overwhelming, but understanding your rights and taking proactive steps can safeguard your future.

The key to navigating this complex situation is early preparation, professional guidance, and strategic financial management.

Understanding financial control in divorce

When one spouse has maintained primary control over the household finances, the other spouse may feel isolated and vulnerable at the prospect of divorce. This control can manifest in various ways, from managing all bank accounts and investments to handling bill payments and limiting access to financial information. A significant imbalance in financial knowledge and access can create considerable hurdles during property settlement negotiations.

The good news is that Australian family law is designed to ensure a just and equitable distribution of assets, regardless of who managed the money during the marriage. However, you need to arm yourself with information and take decisive action to ensure your interests are protected.

Immediate steps to secure your financial position

The moment you contemplate divorce, securing your financial present and future becomes paramount. Here are some steps you can take to safeguard your assets and financial security during this time.

1. Update utility accounts and leases

If you or your partner moves out of the marital home, it's crucial to address utility accounts and lease agreements promptly. If your name remains on these, you could be held liable for unpaid bills or damages, even if you no longer reside at the property.

Contact utility providers and landlords to have your name removed or accounts transferred as soon as possible. This proactive step prevents unexpected financial liabilities from arising post-separation.

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2. Secure your personal finances

This is a critical step. If it's safe to do so, consider establishing new, individual accounts where your income can be directed. Immediately change all PINs and passwords associated with your bank accounts, credit cards, and online financial platforms.

If closing joint accounts isn't feasible or advisable (for instance, if it could escalate conflict or jeopardise immediate needs), ensure your bank does not share address changes or other sensitive information with your ex-partner without your explicit consent. The goal here is to establish financial independence and privacy.

3. Change passwords

Beyond financial accounts, it's imperative to change passwords for all your digital access points. This includes your computer, phone, tablet, email accounts, and any social media profiles. Use strong, unique passwords for each. Even in amicable separations, situations can change, and protecting your digital privacy is essential.

Building your financial foundation for property settlement

Divorce property settlements require a comprehensive understanding of the marital asset pool. This is where diligent information gathering becomes crucial.

1. Compile comprehensive financial information

Begin meticulously compiling a detailed list of all assets and liabilities. This includes:

  • Bank Accounts: Both joint and individual accounts, including savings, checking, and term deposits.
  • Properties: The family home, investment properties, and any other real estate.
  • Vehicles: Cars, boats, motorcycles, etc.
  • Debts: Mortgages, personal loans, credit card debts, and any other liabilities.
  • Investments: Shares, managed funds, superannuation (pension funds), and any other investment portfolios.
  • Business Interests: Any ownership in companies, partnerships, or trusts.

Keep records of all financial statements, tax returns, pay slips, and any documents related to these assets and liabilities. Any changes to these assets post-separation should also be meticulously documented, as they will all contribute to the overall property pool and influence the final settlement.

2. Monitor your assets diligently

Even in seemingly amicable separations, maintaining vigilance over your financial assets is vital. If substantial funds remain in joint accounts, consider discussing with your bank the possibility of setting withdrawal limits or requiring joint signatories for transactions. Regularly review bank statements and investment reports to detect any unauthorised transactions, asset sales, or significant changes. Any unexplained movements could impact your property settlement.

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The indispensable role of professional advice

Navigating the complexities of family law and financial division without expert guidance is akin to sailing without a compass.

It's absolutely essential to consult with a family lawyer like Owen Hodge Lawyers as soon as possible after separation. A family lawyer will explain your rights and obligations, guide you through the legal process, and help you understand how Australian family law principles apply to your unique financial circumstances.

Beyond a family lawyer, consider engaging other professionals:

  • Tax Advisers: They can help you understand the tax implications of asset division, particularly concerning capital gains tax on property sales or the transfer of shares.
  • Financial Planners: A financial planner can assist in structuring your finances post-divorce, helping you create a budget, plan for retirement, and make informed investment decisions.

Early advice from these experts can prevent costly mistakes, clarify complex financial structures (such as trusts or company interests), and set the stage for more successful and efficient negotiations.

Transparency and amicability: A path to resolution

While it may seem counterintuitive in a high-conflict situation, aiming for transparency and open communication can significantly streamline the divorce process.

Open communication about finances, even if difficult, can reduce misunderstandings, alleviate stress, and expedite the settlement process. Both parties have a legal duty of full and frank disclosure of their financial circumstances. By being transparent, you fulfil this duty and help to narrow down the key issues for negotiation.

This approach can ultimately save you considerable time, money, and emotional distress, as it can reduce the need for protracted legal battles and extensive discovery processes.

Related article: 10 Popular Myths About Divorce

Key takeaways: I want to get a divorce, but my partner controls all the money

Facing a divorce when your partner controls the finances can feel like an insurmountable challenge. However, by taking swift, strategic action to secure your personal finances, meticulously compiling financial information, and seeking expert professional advice from family lawyers, accountants, and financial planners, you can empower yourself.

Remember, the law is designed to achieve a fair outcome, and with the right preparation and support, you can protect your financial interests and build a secure future for yourself.

Are you prepared to take these initial steps to safeguard your financial future?

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Jillian Zhang

About the author

Jillian is a Family and Estates Lawyer at Owen Hodge Lawyers. With a multifaceted legal background, Jillian is able to work on complex commercial issues in family and estate matters. She also has a strong interest in personal commercial matters, including asset protection, family trusts and individual businesses. She is dedicated to striving for the best outcomes for clients and helping clients in a calm and compassionate manner. Jillian completed her Bachelor of Commerce in 2018 and Juris Doctor in January 2022, and was admitted as a lawyer in New South Wales in August 2022. Jillian has extensive cross-cultural experience during her education and is comfortable communicating with clients with various backgrounds. She can speak fluent Mandarin and Cantonese and is able to assist Mandarin or Cantonese-speaking clients.

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