8 Ways to treat yourself when your ex gets you down

Treat yourself | Beanstalk Single Mums

It may seem difficult to build yourself back up again after a harsh breakup or divorce. However, dwelling on the past and thinking about what could have been are things to avoid during this tumultuous time. It’s critical to put yourself first, and now is the best time to do so.

Some people find the concept of self-care to be trivial and more of a trend than anything else. Others believe it’s much more than just meditation, green smoothies and face masks. Prioritising your mental and physical well-being is necessary during life’s significant transitions.

If you’ve recently gone through the divorce process and are currently single, it’s critical to know you are not alone. The current divorce rate in the United States is 2.7 per 1,000. This means the difficult experience is something many people can relate to.

Here are 10 ways to treat yourself, whether you’re feeling down or more upbeat. Remember, these suggestions may not work for everyone but can certainly help those struggling with the aftermath of a stressful separation from a loved one.

1. Get off Social Media Platforms

There’s no worse feeling than scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and seeing your ex’s name or photo come across the screen. It can be upsetting and unnerving and likely causes you to wonder what they’re up to.

While it may seem impossible at first, deleting social media has its benefits — it can improve sleep, lessen your anxiety and improve your face-to-face interactions. It should be the first thing to check off your to-do list when considering self-care.

2. Set up Weekly Meetings With Friends

Spending quality time with your closest friends can help alleviate some of the negative feelings you may be experiencing as you navigate through this new reality. Friends can make you laugh, be there as a shoulder to cry on and accompany you as you go on about your daily activities.

Make it a point to schedule meetups with friends and family members as often as possible, as this will make time go by faster and you won’t feel as alone.

3. Try a New Recipe

Hop in the kitchen and get baking! While you may already do so, arrange a set time to go in and get your hands dirty with new ingredients. There are plenty of recipes online that can guide you, whether you’re a chocolate lover or if you opt for ice cream or candy.

The best part about trying a new recipe is that you get to taste the finished product. You can enjoy it alone and taste all of the wonderful flavors or enjoy it with your kids and friends.

4. Join a Group Therapy Session

Look into possible therapeutic treatment to help you sort through the uncomfortable feelings associated with divorce or separation. Therapy is the ultimate form of self-care, and group sessions can offer an array of benefits for you to reap. You’ll discover you’re not alone.

Having a space to discuss your feelings with others who may be experiencing similar problems will help take the weight off your shoulders.

5. Invest in Your Physical Health

It’s common for people to feel anger and frustration when going through a messy divorce or breakup. Channel this intense energy in a healthy, positive way by signing up for a membership at your local gym or fitness centre. You can meet new, like-minded people while you work on your physical appearance.

While a gym membership may not be your first choice, even heading outside to go for a brisk walk may do you some good. Studies show that exercise can improve your mood, so take advantage of nice weather and enjoy some time outdoors.

6. Go on a Shopping Spree

You’ve probably heard of retail therapy before, and if not, you may want to research it to learn more. Take this time to focus on your wardrobe and buy yourself that scarf you’ve been eyeing for months. Spend that little bit of money you’ve been saving and splurge on something you’ve wanted. You’ll be happy that you made this purchase for yourself.

Remember that overspending may lead to financial difficulties, so set a budget and stick to it when the time comes.

7. Volunteer in Your Community

One study shows that respondents who volunteered regularly ended up being more satisfied with their lives than those who did not. Doing good deeds to help others can make you feel better about your own life.

Sometimes, it takes seeing someone else’s struggle to help you recognise that everyone encounters hardships in their lives. Consider volunteering in your community and see how it can benefit your own life as a result.

8. Allow Time to Pass

The saying is old, but it rings true: “Time heals all wounds.” While it’s easier said than done, doing your best to be patient is the best way to treat yourself with kindness, gentleness and respect during an emotional period.

Allow yourself to feel the intensity of your emotions without being such a harsh critic — talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend going through a similar situation.

Adjusting to a New Reality

There are plenty of ways to treat yourself. Be sure to try out different methods and experiment with various self-care techniques to see what works best for you.

Take time to focus on yourself rather than spend energy worrying about what your ex is doing. Engage in healthy, positive and refreshing self-care techniques such as the ones listed above so you can get back on track with your personal goals and feel satisfied in life.

Treat yourself | Beanstalk Single Mums Pinterest

Kara Reynolds

Kara Reynolds

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine. A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalise differences in family structures. She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes and pinot noir - but not at the same time.

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