Homepage Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum Who to turn to. Feel like everyone is better off without me.

This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Avatar Anonymous 6 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #20249 Reply

    Feeling so alone, even though I have Mum and great friends to talk to. I don’t want to go over and over the same crap with them. I have days where I feel like everyone is better off without me and people wouldn’t be that affected if I dropped dead. Then other days I know how ridiculous these thoughts are! My 3 kids are a lot of work because they are young and close is age and the oldest has behavioural and sensory issues. They whinge a lot when I’m home and always want me. I am so burnt out from appointments and trying to work out the best discipline for him for the last 3 years. Being brushed off by my partner and his Mum as if I’m a paranoid, anxious Mum (my son had 3 lots of neurosurgery 3 years ago) hasn’t helped. His Kindy have picked up his issues and believe me, his Paediatrician agrees with me and my Mum agrees with me too. I just feel my partner and his Mum think the kids are better behaved with them and they make me feel like an outsider in my own home. Telling me not to come home from work until later so I don’t rev the kids up. They just get excited I’m home and I want to say goodnight to them. Anyway, I’ve nearly taken myself to the hospital because some nights I cry for ages about just leaving without the kids, maybe they will have a better life with my partner and his Mum (I don’t have a lot of family support, just Mum). I hate feeling this way and want to be happy but don’t know what to do or could help me. Prefer no meds, been to a psychologist but don’t have anyone to look after the kids so I can keep going, already contacted Respect helpline and they just told me my partner sounds like a control freak but I need to set boundaries and have some ‘me time’. This is not realistic right now. I just don’t know who can help me, if it’s hormones or if it’s depression and anxiety. Did anyone feel like this when they were peri menopausal? Who helped you? Thanks to anyone who reads all of this.

  • #20250 Reply

    sorry to hear what you’re going through I can see that you are exhausted you said that your partner and his mum are also taking care of the kids the I guess me time is possible that is the best thing you can do for yourself hun it is normal for kids to misbehave or act up when they are with us (mothers) I have read somewhere that it is because they are so comfortable with us that they don’t have to behave so much. You need some time off otherwise you won’t be able to think clearly and it would be so difficult for you to think of positive things and happy thoughts when you are drained out. Believe me, I have been there. You can surpass this. Stay strong.

  • #20253 Reply

    I can’t help, but wanted you to know I read it. You’re not invisible.

    Respect’s specialist counsellors (not the first responders) have helped me a lot, but you might not always connect with your counsellor. Call again and find another. The important thing is to keep connecting with people. I regularly check in with my GP, psych, and a family violence counsellor. It helps if you can find people who bulk bill for mental health consultations.

    Perhaps look into cheap occasional care through a community centre, or access your work EAP and go during work/school hours where you can. I take my child to a lot of appointments. It’s good as the professionals can build a relationship with the kids and see how you’re coping with them. They’ll let you know when it’s no longer appropriate.

    Hope you get some rest tonight. 🙂

  • #20259 Reply
    Gretel Digo

    The last person’s advice is great. I second the one about getting occasional care through a community center and keep connecting with people as isolation might worsen your symptoms. I can’t help as well, but I wish you all very the best.

  • #20629 Reply

    I just want to say I know how you feel. It all gets too much & you’re exhausted. You are not alone in this & im glad you reached out. If you continue having those thoughts can I please suggest you look up Dani Bates on Facebook, she has powerful messages & lots of resources to help. Could you go for a blood test go make sure it’s not your iron levels or thyroid or something medical. Perhaps some vitamins would be helpful? Taking go people is a great step. I understand going over things isn’t a nice thought but maybe speaking with a professional would be worthwhile, even just every couple of weeks for an hour – hopefully your Mum or partner could help with that, I feel that’s what needs to happen. Those kids of yours need you at your best. You deserve to be at your best. Take 1 week off, away on your own if you have to. Just to recharge, find you & be in your happy place. Read books, meditate, sleep, whatever it is that your body needs. And I would be talking with your partner and his mum about how they talk to you in your own home. Kids love their mum & I think it’s lovely how they get excited, it won’t always be like that. Life is short & unpredictable so just go with it. Take care & message back if you ever need someone to talk to 🤗

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