- This topic has 15 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 8 months ago by Anonymous.
- November 25, 2019 at 5:45 am #21112AnonymousGuest
Any advice is needed please.
My ex and i are going through family law court for custody of our 2 1/2 year old daughter but she is showing signs of sexual abuse after coming back from her dad highly distressed and making comments for two weeks now such as pointing to her downstairs and saying “sore daddy naughty” repeatedly and saying “sleep on bed with daddy” “daddy make sore i cry daddy say shhh” these are only a few things of what is now 7 pages of things she is saying in two weeks. I have reported to facs, police, had a hospital social worker and doctor check and called child helplime, 1800 respect and anything i can find. Facs and police say its not enough to investigate but everyone else says there is definitely something going on as all of these things are completely out of character for her. She even had a nightmare on friday night and woke up sweating and scared saying “i go out from daddy” she is only little so cannot explain fully what she wants to say and thats why they keep saying its not enough coming from a 2 year old. She has stopped toilet training and had started sucking her thumb for the first time ever. I have her booked in for a child specialist play therapy psycologist appointment in 2 weeks, its the earliest i could find but i dont want to keep sending her until we know whats happening. Because there is interim court orders i cant just stop time without proof and with facs and police saying it may be just a nappy rash i have no support to stop her going. I am broken and dont know what to do anymore. Please can anyone offer any advice or somewhere i can go for help.or support 🙏😭
- November 25, 2019 at 9:25 am #21121AnonymousGuest
The is completely heartbreaking to read. I am horrified that from what you have said the police are not going to take action. It seems like you have done everything you can so far. What does your lawyer say about the visits???
- November 25, 2019 at 10:02 am #21123AnonymousGuest
Omg this is horrifying. I would simply not let her go, never mind the consequences … it is a risk you can’t take.
- November 25, 2019 at 12:00 pm #21130Lucy GoodKeymaster
Surely you have proof, take it to your lawyer. This is something the court would surely have to take into account.
- November 25, 2019 at 12:41 pm #21131Lucy GoodKeymaster
This sounds like a truly horrible experience to be going through and my heart goes out to you. However, have you considered talking to your ex about this? Does he have any previous relating to sexual abuse? It is a massive claim that could destroy lives. He may be able to shed some light around why she is saying these things.
- November 25, 2019 at 4:03 pm #21135AnonymousGuest
Is it possible that it is severe nappy rash? My daughter has had it so bad that the skin macerated, and believe me, there was a lot of screaming, and I was naughty for trying to put cream on. She was very out of character as it was so extremely painful and irritated. It only got better with a week of curash cream.
She also sleeps in Dad’s bed when she stays with him. I think it’s normal at that age.
Her distress could be something very innocent. But you know your ex better than us.
- November 25, 2019 at 5:46 pm #21140AnonymousGuest
Has she been treated for nappy rash? How is she when you change her? Have you asked your ex about how she is acting?
- November 28, 2019 at 9:15 am #21264AnonymousGuest
Just a question as I don’t wish to pry but I was abused by my father from a small age, and now I think that every male is a potential threat to my Daughter.So I was wondering if this is true for you to? As mothers who have been abused it is always on your radar.And sometimes for myself its been hard for me not to take anything my child says or does as a warning when really it may not be.But from what your saying it does sound very upsetting and as a mother you must be in such a difficult postion my heart does go out to you both.Just a thought any way you could plant a hidden microphone in your exs house just to get some peace of mind?
- December 2, 2019 at 11:00 am #21400AnonymousGuest
Go to a doctor hun have your daughter checked and get a medico-legal report that you can present in court. It would be better as well if you can as a therapist to assess your daughter as this might cause trauma to your child.
- January 22, 2020 at 6:51 pm #23814AnonymousGuest
Completely heartbreaking to read. I’m sorry the police won’t do more. Did you make them create a record and give you an event number? Sometimes pushing for things to be documented does all kinds of wonderful things where people start doing their job properly.
- January 22, 2020 at 6:52 pm #23815AnonymousGuest
Maybe try a different police station too. Sometimes you get a different person and everything changes.
- January 23, 2020 at 8:06 am #23859AnonymousGuest
Trying go use this to gain custody leverage isn’t the right thing
- January 23, 2020 at 5:12 pm #23870AnonymousGuest
Replying to #23859
What is she supposed to do? Let her baby go somewhere she thinks it is being sexually abused?
- January 23, 2020 at 6:19 pm #23875AnonymousGuest
To imply a mother is doing this for custody leverage when she is reaching out for help is disgusting. It happens but as advised by a lawyer the percentage of women that actually make this kind of thing up is very low.
Child sexual abuse is common but hard to prove, it doesnt mean it doesnt happen. This ruins not only the childs life but also the non offending parents life when they have to pick up the pieces with a broken heart to try and heal a traumatised child.
Would you send your child if they told you all of this?? That is neglect. Please think twice before commenting negatively like that to a distraught mum on a help forum…
- January 24, 2020 at 6:26 am #23896AnonymousGuest
Definitely go to doctor to get the kid checked and keep a record of everything. All the best to you.
- January 24, 2020 at 8:37 pm #23931AnonymousGuest
I think there is a troll in the comments. See #23859.
Please ignore that comment; original poster, it is horrid.
I’ve noticed a few weird comments on other posts as well (I’m guessing a disgruntled father who has found this forum… custody arrangements seems to be the theme).
Please pay it no mind. You don’t need to even think about anything like that right now, just look after you are child.