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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Avatar Anonymous 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #23684 Reply
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    Anonymous

    Seeking advice/experience from mums who have left due to dv (emotional, verbal, financial and towards the end physical to kids). No avo in place. Currently trying to go through mediation (round two in 3 days). I know it is important for children to have both patents in their lives if possible (and safe). Currently we have worked up to dad spending time with 2yr old and 4 year old 5 hours sat, 3 hours sunday. Dad sees 1 yr old 1 hr on sunday (with me there). He cant care for all three by himself (he admits that). Frequently mr2 asks to come home early at least one day on the weekend. Both boys are becoming increasingly unsettled upon return, acting out, violent towards each other, me and their baby sister. Im not blaming dad, i know change is hard for them.
    Seeking advice as to where to from here. I feel dad seeing them both days every weekend is not working fir the kids (as evident by their behaviour and desire to come home early). I will also need to return to work soon so will barely see them if they spend both days every weekend with dad and i will work weekdays and they will have childcare/kindy. I know dad will push to have them overnight at next mediation but worried mr 2 wont cope as still wakes most nights calling for mum. Dad will just put in ear plugs and ignore til 8 am ( he did this when we lived together). Wondering how court woukd see this situation and what would be outcome as dont know whether to fight for day visits only as i feel thus in kids best interests (dad refused parenting courses/anger management etc) or agree to one night even though I am worried this will not be good fir the kids. Any advice/experience appreciated. I understand it us in kids best interests to have a relationship with their dad but i also have concerns regarding their safety.

  • #23699 Reply
    Lucy Good
    Lucy Good
    Keymaster

    It’s hard but you need to work with your kids and your ex to find out what the problem is and to work on that. The court will want him to be part of the kids lives to may award him an overnight. Prepare for it.

  • #23721 Reply
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    Anonymous

    I’m in a similar situation at the moment. Nobody knows how Court would see the situation as it depends on the judge etc. If you have concerns re their safety then nobody else will advocate for their safety except for you. I’ve chosen to advocate for childs safety but am yet to know the outcome

  • #23733 Reply
    Avatar
    Anonymous

    Court is v expensive and they will
    Give him access they may ask he do an anger management course but it’s literally 5k per day in court plus

  • #23758 Reply
    Lucy Good
    Lucy Good
    Keymaster

    Courts will always encourage a relationship with dad, as they should, you should back it up also.

  • #23760 Reply
    Avatar
    Anonymous

    Could family dispute resolution conferencing via legal services work? It’s very different to the type od mediation Relationships Australia provides.

    Although I have been to 3 different types of providers now and 2 different lawyers… everyone had the opinion the dv was in the past and not relevant. A hard pill that one.

    Having said that, following FDR the ex and I are finally communicating again after many months, and it’s friendly.

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