Yesterday for the first time since separating, I passed my kids and their dad in the street unexpectedly. My kids ran to me, naturally, and hugged and kissed me …… and begged to come home with me 😭 it was rough. Their dad was visibly not keen on me talking to them, but as a mum, how do we see our kids and walk the other way? Should I have walked the other way?
No you shouldn’t have walked away. Just because they are with him doesn’t mean you cease to exist. At the same time, I can see why he might have been annoyed if they were begging to come home with you. It probably hurt him.
This is such a difficult situation to be in for everyone. I would suggest if you see them before they see you then walk away as if seeing you makes them want to come home with you when they can’t it is fairer on everyone. If it’s too late to avoid then give them a cuddle and be really encouraging about them going home with their dad.
50:50 coparenting for nearly 10 years and we live very close to one another which is great for our kiddies.
We did need to make it super clear to them from an early age that the care plan could not be changed.
This means that when they are at one parents they can’t choose to head back to the others because they miss them, this is something we would work through with them.
In their teenage years they would argue with one of us and storm out to the other parents house. In this case we bring them straight home.
What I’m staying is that if you live close to one another then talk to your kids about how lucky they are that is the case and that you may see them around and about even in dads time but they are still at dads house. You could even mentioned that dad would be hurt by them wanting to leave his so just to give you a cuddle say hello and then carry with dad time.
Also, a word with dad about moving forward when this happens would be good. Being on the same page is hugely helpful.