- This topic has 16 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 5 days ago by Anonymous.
- August 5, 2019 at 12:45 am #13404AnonymousGuest
I found out a while ago I was pregnant with my 3rd child. I had been with my partner for 5 years. He took the news well, although I was scared as my other child father just left me to do it on my own which was a horrible and lonely experience.
My current partner has no children but has always wanted some, he is quite immature for being almost 30. He has been quite horrible lately, going out not telling me where he was going, calling me needy, just acting like he doesn’t really care anymore. Making very little effort and he knows how scared I am and how horrible and lonely my last pregnancy was. I never thought he’d turn out like this. I’ve just had enough I’ve told him if he wants to do as he pleases then maybe he should leave, I’ve told him I’m tired of feeling unwanted and alone in this and his reaction is not to say sorry it’s just if that’s how you feel fine!
I’m so scared to do this all again myself, I never thought he’d be like this.
- August 5, 2019 at 8:00 am #13405AnonymousGuest
It sounds like you’d be better of doing it alone than with your current partner. If he can’t be supportive and is upsetting you, why have him around. Think of your yourself, your children and your unborn child, what will be best for you all in the long-run? Pregnancy alone is hard, but you can call on friends and family to step up. Sometimes, we feel more alone in the wrong relationship, than we do when we are actually alone.
- August 5, 2019 at 9:58 am #13409AnonymousGuest
Talk to him, ask him why he’s behaving like he is. It might just be that he is struggling to handle the pregnancy .. you said he’s immature. Tell him how you feel and give it some time to change. If he doesn’t, show him the door.
- August 5, 2019 at 1:25 pm #13419Lucy GoodKeymaster
It sounds like he’s not handling it very well, have you talked?
- August 5, 2019 at 4:38 pm #13462AnonymousGuest
Get rid of him. If he’s not going to support you as a partner, what kind of father will he be?
- January 16, 2020 at 11:51 am #23397AnonymousGuest
#23396 Well it’s a bit late for that now, why comment something pointless like that?!
I know going through a pregnancy alone is lonely and awful but you’ve done it before and you will get through this again!
- January 22, 2020 at 6:02 pm #23808AnonymousGuest
I am also going through pregnancy alone (my first pregnancy). There are downsides and I don’t want to downplay them… but I have found it helpful to count my blessings (feel free to add to these):
1. I don’t have to share my bed with anyone. I get all the pillows, can be spread out in any position in the bed, can turn the lights on to get up to pee without a second thought multiple times a night, or make a midnight snack making noise etc
2. I don’t have any ‘relationship issues’ such as insensitive comments from a partner or them not meeting my expectations of support levels
3. Total financial control – if I think prenatal yoga is a priority, then it is.
4. My last name for the baby, no change for me
5. I don’t have to consider anyone else’s ideas about the baby’s name, or where I should have the baby etc If I do/don’t want to know the gender then that is what is happening.
6. I don’t have to organise or clean up after anyone but myself (I mean, housework should be split evenly anyway… but I’ve never lived with a guy where that was the case)
7. Noone cooking smells that gross me out or making noises that bother me
8. My space to myself – free to play music and dance around in the nud if a want to without a second thought
Mostly I find it helpful to hang out with women in relationships as they tend to need to vent about their partners…. this is when I realise how lucky I am.
Hope that helps reframe being solo & pregnant for you, or gives you some ideas.
- January 22, 2020 at 11:51 pm #23829AnonymousGuest
Maybe he is really not ready to have a baby because if a man is really mature enough to do their responsibilities they will never leave you no matter what. Sorry to hear that you are going through this I know being pregnant is so difficult but you can do this you have done this before and you can do it again.
- February 8, 2020 at 11:08 am #25284AnonymousGuest
Sorry to hear your going thru this, I’m in the same exact boat as you and my second child is his. I don’t think he took it well that we was having another and although my oldest is from a previous relationship he was there for her too. I know it sucks but you might have to do it all alone again. I hope you don’t! Good luck
- February 8, 2020 at 5:36 pm #25318AnonymousGuest
Could you be projecting your last pregnancy on this one?
Maybe your scared and he is sensing this and reacting to it. Not saying his behaviour is okay but maybe sit down and talk with him without judgement. You aren’t the only one who may be scared at the moment.
- March 13, 2020 at 11:16 am #32104AnonymousGuest
Don’t be scared! You can do it you’ve done it before!
Sounds like you rushed into having a child. Cause you clearly have your own issues that you haven’t dealt with properly. But you can step up and say enough is enough and move on and take care of yourself. Don’t be scared be brave!! You can do it.
- July 25, 2020 at 3:42 am #44307AnonymousGuest
Cry and grieve! Then wipe those tears away and enjoy your pregnancy!!
You already know you don’t need a man or father cause you’ve done it before.
Go out and start meeting soon to be mum’s in your area. Find your social network and find some REAL support.
You can do it! You aren’t alone. And you have another child to share the pregnancy with.
- July 26, 2020 at 9:54 am #44479AnonymousGuest
Don’t have a baby unless it’s mutuallh planned talk about trapping someone
- August 9, 2020 at 2:20 pm #46107AnonymousGuest
^^^ I bet anyone unlucky enough to be in your presence feels trapped. Asshole
- August 28, 2020 at 2:29 pm #48465AnonymousGuest
are you sure you are not self sabotaging because of old fears?
- August 28, 2020 at 3:47 pm #48470AnonymousGuest
I think you very right to feel like this…you have been with him 5 years so u are not trapping him…and you have kids already so it’s not like he dislikes children…I think he may be acting out because he might be in shock or maybe he’s not handling it well…but he needs to put on his big boys pants that’s forshore….I’m sure things will settle down soon once it all sets in a bit for him….in the mean time just focus on you..goodluck stay safe
- October 14, 2020 at 5:54 am #54089AnonymousGuest
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