This topic contains 14 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 4 days, 11 hours ago.
- November 29, 2019 at 8:57 pm #21303
I’ve posted before about my mil being emotionally manipulative. My son’s Kindy have even said she’s a force to be reckoned with and that she’s toxic after she brushed them off about their concerns about my son’s lack of social skills and sensory issues. I just feel so alone in this because my Mum doesn’t want to say anything, my partner won’t stick up for me and Kindy said they don’t want to add fuel to the fire. I understand it’s my job alone to stand up for myself but I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of feeling strong and then something will send me spiralling down into uncertainty about leaving my partner. I’m so tired and I’m not sleeping well, I feel nauseous and I’m trying to be fun for my kids. Any tips on gaining strength and keeping it? Exercise, creative hobby, spending time with friends etc? Thanks
- December 1, 2019 at 2:52 pm #21332
Thanks for posting on the Forum. We have had some technical issues and ladies have been able to post but not respond .. it is all fixed now, so you can look forward to getting some support.
- December 1, 2019 at 6:56 pm #21348
Firstly get enough sleep. If you are anything like me lovely, I am the most powerful woman in the world when I’ve slept and completely useless without it.
- December 1, 2019 at 9:15 pm #21360
Cut this MIL out of your life. Toxic people have the ability to run you into the ground. Sounds like you are going her too much space. Once she is gone, or at least at arms length you can move forward.
- December 2, 2019 at 10:32 am #21388
try some meditation or yoga to clear your head. If you can go on for a quick me time just to have time to reflect and think of the things that you can do. A lot of MIL’s are like that and I personally do not agree with putting up with a person like that especially if it is affecting my life negatively.
- December 2, 2019 at 9:51 pm #21420
Thanks. Yes, sleep is everything. I just don’t know how to get her out of my life because she looks after my kids when I’m working and I can’t afford childcare, especially when I leave my partner. She seriously does not take no for an answer!
- December 2, 2019 at 11:31 pm #21431
When you leave, your child care subsidy entitlement may increase. Speak to a Centrelink social worker and the childcare subsidy team.
- December 3, 2019 at 7:34 am #21445
TOXIC awful women you need to stop her having so much power over you.
- December 4, 2019 at 1:25 am #21478
I agree with the other poster about speaking to a Centrelink childcare subsidy team. A neutral party caring for the kids will give you a break since it sounds like MIL is wearing you out.
- December 4, 2019 at 11:19 pm #21508
The only thing is I sold some investments so unfortunately the capital gains is added to my income, yet all the cash went towards buying a house for myself and the kids and other expenses, debt. But yeah next financial year should be good to increase my ccs %. Thanks
- December 5, 2019 at 9:54 am #21519
Your CCS should increase as a single parent.
You may also be entitled to get some extra hours when your circumstances change. See if you meet any criteria under temporary financial hardship, or an exemption from the activity test.
Talk to their social worker. Talk to your community legal service. Talk to as many professional people as you can, because it sounds like you’re in a really difficult situation and need to detangle.
- December 5, 2019 at 10:05 am #21523
Just adding to my above post re extra hours –
Centrelink told me that you can apply for anything you like. They will assess and see how they can help. I’d been worried I’d get in trouble applying for things I wasn’t allowed to have.
So get a support letter from your GP, counsellor, or other support person explaining you need extra help and why.
Write a letter or stat dec.
Make an application and upload everything for them to look at. It never hurts to ask. Worst they can do is say no.
I’ve also been told that you can talk to your childcare centre (if you have one) about how they can help, because in some circumstances they can apply to centrelink for extra subsidy for families in need.
- December 5, 2019 at 10:43 pm #21538
Ok thanks for that information. I’ll do that. It’s frustrating because I’m a nurse. I don’t earn tonnes but it always seems to be over the amount to get any help (apart from the ccs). The problem is to afford my mortgage and looking after the kids I’ll probably need to work extra shifts, which then pushes up my income. I just can’t seem to win at the moment 😓
- December 6, 2019 at 10:14 am #21546
So sorry to hear I’m a Nurse too and I know it’s not easy to work and have kids especially in this career it may help if you do extra shifts but it can lessen the time for your kids try to think of a way where you can earn at the same time be with your kids as well like part-time work at home jobs.
- December 6, 2019 at 3:39 pm #21555
I assume your workplace will have an EAP program available to you then. Take advantage of that, maybe talk to the hospital/facility social worker. See if you can take DV leave or personal leave when you move out (because it’s definitely a form of DV that you’re experiencing with the MIL).