I’m struggling with this question as I really want to change my name, due to my ex being abusive. However I don’t want my kids to associate their own name with the abuse we all suffered as they don’t have the option to change theirs. He would never agree even though the kids choose not to see him. He takes every opportunity to maintain power and control where he can, that’s the nature of abuse. I’m thinking when the kids are 18 maybe I will do it then because they can then legally make their own choices as well, so it’s not like I can make the change and they can’t, which is how everything about our separation and divorce has felt to them so far.