I don’t really know who else to turn to for this. I was just out Christmas shopping with my 6 and 4 year old girls and we bumped into my ex and his mistress he left me for. My youngest saw them first and ran towards her screaming her name and my eldest followed. They didn’t even think about their dad – they were so excited to see her. She was really excited too and my ex and her picked them both up. It was the most horrible moment of my life. I was in complete shock and yelled at my girls to come back immediately telling them that we had to go. I ran to the car with them and started screaming and crying. My girls were probably really scared and they did too. I’m so embarrassed and I feel like such a bad mother, but I couldn’t help it. It took everything in me to not burst out into tears when I saw them embrace. They haven’t stopped talking about her and it is killing me. I think they want us to be friends. I just can’t do it and they are so upset by my reaction. What do I do?
I really feel sorry for your girls. You need to seek some serious guidance and try to understand what you’re putting your children through. Just because you’re heartbroken does not give you the right to bring that out on your kids.
I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with this. I did too and it was by far the hardest part for me. Go easy on yourself – even the most responsible, reasonable people have their limits and that would have been incredibly difficult to see. It just cuts to your very core. I saw a psychologist to help me cope with those intense emotions and ride them out to allow me to act in a way that is in the best interest of my girls, even when inside it absolutely kills me that my husband’s mistress gets to play happy families with the kids I primarily raised. I assume that it will get easier, in the same way that other parts of the pain of being left for another woman have gotten easier. Good luck, and I would recommend counselling. Take care.
I’m so sorry to hear about what happened I know how you feel but maybe that is because you are still attached to him (you still have feelings) and that is understandable. Moving on takes time and it depends on you regarding how long it will take I suggest that you just explain it to your kids what you really feel so they would understand as well that it is not easy for you they are quite big now so I think they would understand.