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Homepage › Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum › Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum › How to approach ex about custody
This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by 
Anonymous 2 weeks, 3 days ago.
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AnonymousHi everyone!
My story is that I left my ex husband about a year ago after he stifled me for years with outdated traditional gender roles and emotional abuse. After the divorce, I wanted shared custody of our 4,8 and 9 year olds, so my children could have a relationship with their dad and I could go back to building my career in law. My ex has since met someone else and told me he just wants every second weekend and I can’t do that with my job. He says it’s too bad and he’s probably moving to Perth to start a new family with his new girlfriend (where her family are from). He is basically dumping me with three kids and demanding to see them on school holidays. Can he do this? Can I force him to stay and do shared? My job starts in 2 weeks and I don’t know what to do.
AnonymousDepends what your formal agreement is, but unfortunately… this is what men do, its his way of punishing you. If he’s moving I’m not sure there is much you can do. Except take him to court for child support and making sure its sufficient as you will have the children 95% of the time. You could look at an au pair or live in nanny and go for full custody to save yourself hassles in the future. From what you’ve described though this his way of making sure you fail. By not supporting you and not helping with the kids. Do what you can to be supported financially but dont rely on it from him. If hes moving Id get a formal agreement in place about him still being responsible for 50% of all the kids needs, school fees trips medical… clothing food list all their needs. And stipulate that if he wants them for holidays he pays for flights there and back it is the least he can do as he is leaving everything up to you, take out full responsibility of children against him so you can get passports and send them to schools
of your choice without requiring his signature. And this should also protect you should you send your kids to Perth and then he refuses to give them back. Do your research set yourself up, and do what you need to do to look after yourself and be a good mama. I wish you all the best.He might be able to hun, you need law support here. Where about are you? We can maybe offer some suggestions.
AnonymousI think you would be needing a legal support or you would need to go to court so that the division of time will be equal.
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