This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Anonymous 2 weeks, 3 days ago.
- November 17, 2019 at 6:21 pm #20659
Hi everyone i need some advise… feel like im going crazy. I cant stand my ex’s new girlfriend being around my kids… it really upsets me and makes me angry. I know im being silly and emotional but i cant help it. I hate how im acting about this around the kids but i cant seem to stop myself. Does it ever get easier knowing ur kids are spending time with another women. I know i need to just “deal with it and get use to it” but does anyone have any tips to help me through till it is a bit easier. My kids and i are really close and i always said this would be the hardest part and im just not coping with it. TIA xx
- November 17, 2019 at 8:05 pm #20663
You need to think about why you don’t like it. Are you jealous? Are you insecure? What has this woman done to you? Is she nasty to you children?
- November 17, 2019 at 10:50 pm #20678
Thats half the problem i have no idea… my ex keeps everything such a big secret when the kids are with him and her so i have no idea. No idea what they do or where they go till the kids get home. My daughter said shes nice but thats about it.
Not jealous… couldnt care less shes with my ex good luck to her. I think 1 reason is my ex is actually been a dad to the kids and doing stuff for the first time ever… would never do anything with us as a family or even eith the kids after we split. Gfs been around a month or so and suddenly he wants to be a dad all of the sudden. Might be jealous of that part i guess. I also dont know or trust this women.. and my ex wont let us meet.. i think it would make things a bit easier if we could but he wont allow it for some reason.
- November 18, 2019 at 3:53 am #20682
Ok wow you need to back right off and change your attitude. What your children do in his time is 100% none of your business and there is no reason for you to know details. I hope you are not grilling your kids for information! It’s not a big secret – just not your business. You seem very focused on your ex and his life and knowing details – you can’t and you need to be comfortable with this or it will consume you.
You are jealous that your ex is the husband and father you wanted him to be during your marriage with another woman? That says nothing bad about you and it’s super normal to have those feelings. Doesn’t make her better or you a bad wife/mum – remind yourself of this constantly.
You want to vet this woman and judge her – Why on earth would she want to meet you? There is no reason for her to meet you at all and it seems like, especially for your sake, that would be a bad idea. Just work on your own time with your kids and accept that this part of their lives is separate and none of your business.
- November 18, 2019 at 2:33 pm #20700
It really is just something you have to get used. My girls spend a lot of time with my ex and his girlfriend. They like her and she seems to be good to them. If this wasn’t the case it would be different. Try and change your mindset to the fact that she’s making your ex behave more like a dad and they are all doing things together, which is a good thing.
- November 19, 2019 at 11:55 am #20767
I am on the other side of this, my ex and I have both repartnered but my ex hates my partner being around my kids to the point he says things to my kids about my partner. I’m so stressed by it and feeling like I have to defend myself. I speak only positively about my exes new partner and my kids like her, but don’t like my partner because of what their Dad says. It’s gut wrenching. I implore you to bite your tongue, accept that he has a new partner and what they do on their time is their business. Unless there is safety concerns, I would be focusing on your time with your kids.
- November 20, 2019 at 10:16 am #20808
I think if you just separated for not so long it would still be normal to feel this way. There’s something inside you that feels like you are being replaced but hun you have to know that you are not being replaced as a mother that will never happen because you will always and forever will be their mother no matter who they meet or spend time with. Maybe all you need is that reassurance.