Hi! Are there any mums here who are separated but still under the same roof? How does that work for you and the kid/s? Do you plan to live separately in the future?
I ask all this, because my ex and I are living separately for the last 18 months. We haven’t filed for divorce. Our little girl (3) is struggling immensely with missing her dad even though she does spend a good amount of time with him. She constantly wants him to live with us. And its been very difficult for me to manage. Im considering asking her dad to move back in with us, though still be separated (he doesn’t want to get back together even though I’m keen on trying). So then we would be separated under the one roof and hopefully this would be better for my kid.
Any thoughts at all? Really looking to make life easier, not more complicated and would appreciate all the opinions I can get!
We did this for 11 months as the house my ex got fell through. Looking back it wasn’t so bad but it was hard. He met someone part way through so wasn’t around for much of the last few months and I resented that .. strangely! Plus, we were still arguing over the little things which made life in general difficult.
From what you have said, you really need to help you child to adjust to you being separated, rather than live together to please her. Could she spend more time with Dad? Does she need some professional support?
I would strongly advise against this as this could confuse your daughter more. She’s still in the adjustment period, keep a regular routine with seeing daddy, defined days, you guys might end up resenting each other if you try and it can end up a big mess. Try your best to explain to her mummy and daddy don’t live together anymore but ‘you both still love her very much’ and ‘mummy and daddy are here for you’.. keep her circle full of love and tight to make her feel secure. She will overcome it soon enough just keep repeating the same things, soothe her and hold her. Kids her age just need lots of love and security.
I did this before ,living together for kids sake.My kids was 6yo and 1,5yo that time.and Also tried to fix things in relationship..but end up worse. And end up hurt my feeling more.And more argue and conflic.So it doesnt work on me. And no we totaly separate and do co parenting.