Has anyone else found that divorce has left them hardened, cynical and negative? Our separation has been tough, but I’ve found I feel so negative in my outlook these days… there are a lot of issues still at play for my ex and I surrounding finances and custody – a lot of game playing by my ex etc. I feel hardened, I used to find myself a really positive person but these days I’m finding a positive outlook tough to ‘fake.’ It’s effecting my work and relationships in general. My ex husband has taken a lot from me and wore me down to a shell of a person and I take anti depressants just to get through a day but I’m sick of feeling like he’s taken the person I once was too. Anyone else?
Yes, I feel this way. You’re definitely not alone. I’m sorry you feel this way. I haven’t left yet but years of subtle criticisms from partner and recently by mil I also feel like a shell of a person (used to love life, travel, running etc). I just wish I could be happy again but I don’t even feel hope for the future! I wish I could help you but I too feel bitter and cynical that my life has turned out this way. I’ve had people say ‘take time for yourself, exercise but it’s but it’s not that easy with young kids and sometimes not enough to pull you out of the rut. The only thing I have found a glimpse of happiness and confidence in is doing bits of yoga, learning to do headstands etc. Maybe it’s because I’m learning something new? But then I remember the other crap I still have to deal with. But at least for about 15 minutes a day I feel ok. Sorry I can’t help. I hope your situation improves soon to a place where you can be happy again 😘
I know when we are in a difficult situation it is really difficult to see the positive side of things What I can suggest you do is that if you have extra time try to do something that you really want and what you really enjoy most. Start from that eventually you’ll find a way to be happy and positive again. You can surpass this!
Same here. I felt positive and almost excited for such a long time, but am also on medication and finding it harder to feel happy. For me, it’s not my ex, although I am sad that our marriage failed, just general money and health and lack of wins. What I will say is it’s really important to care for yourself. I am guilty of staying in the house and not seeing or speaking to anyone while the kids are with him, but in the long run it makes you feel worse. It’s really easy to spiral down even further so I urge you to chat to friends and get out or even get to your doctor for a mental health referral.
Yes, but I did eventually get the old me back (and that was an improvement on the miserable married me). It takes time. In the meantime, I do think counselling can be helpful. I sought out counselling because I spent many months feeling so resentful and I hated being that person.
For the ladies that have come out the other side, how do you do it when you still have to have that person in your life because of the kids? I feel like I could be so much better if I didn’t have to have anything to do with him again.