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    • #23256 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      My sons dad and I split last year and have been doing shared care. The arrangement is every Wednesday morning to Friday morning as he works weekends. I also work and have to rely on family members or pay someone to watch him on weekends should I be rostered on (it’s a minimum requirement to work atleast every second weekend). Our son is starting Kindergarten this year.. I brang up with he’s dad not long after we split last year (almost 9 months ago) that I’d like to change our shared care to every second weekend and a night on the off week or Monday – Monday as our son has quite bad anxiety and is starting at a school where he knows no one and it will be extremely disruptive through the week especially for our son being at two houses, trying to remember everything etc. My ex is quite set on not changing he’s work schedule and has become nasty. I have started the mediation process (currently waiting for a date) and am wondering if I’m just wasting my time and if I need to just suck it up or am I being reasonable asking to change to every second weekend and a night on the off week or Monday – Monday. I also feel it’s unfair he gets to work every weekend and not worry about who will mind our son while I have to rely on family / pay someone.. Has anyone been in a similar situation and can tell me the outcome? I’m so worried sick about how our son is going to cope 😭 please no rude comments.. I am already beating myself up about it

    • #23267 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      It’s not unfair at all. You definitely need to work it out through mediation.

    • #23295 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      It’s always the way that the guys job takes top priority. I spent years taking the kids at times to work along-side what worked for him and not for my career. So my advice to you is to get it sorted so it is fair on both of you and also the kids. hope this helps you 🙂

    • #23298 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Prob wasting time if u wish to be primary caregiver it’s up to u find childcare

    • #23304 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      This is what mediation is for. My biggest tip is not bro be emotional and logically explain how changing the schedule is in the best interests of your child. Good luck!

    • #23310 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Agree with the above poster. Try to explain it logically & how your proposal is in the best interests of your child and how parenting arrangements require compromise from both parties. From the reading I’ve done and the legal advice I’ve been given, once the child is of school age, it would usually be every second weekend with the non resident parent (max 4-5 nights fortnight during the school term)… so it’s likely your ex WILL need to change his work arrangements in the very near future. Let us know how it goes

    • #24286 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Completely reasonable. Then both parents could work and both parents would share the load of accessing childcare.

      Since child is starting school, I agree that midweek visits are not great as it disturbs routine.

    • #24296 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Be willing to compromise. 1 week on 1 week off (weekdays – you take him on weekends) for more consistency, rather than mid week. That might be a solution that suits your sons need for consistency and your ex’s work schedule. Mediation is about doing what is best for the child first and then accomodating the parents second.

    • #24307 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      No you’re primary care taker it’s up to u to find childcare or you could surrender primary care and he could have his new gf b primary carer while he works or he could pay a nanny while he works as hell b primary care giver

    • #24310 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Ignore the bitter divorced dad above. He’s making the rounds again.

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