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Homepage › Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum › Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum › Child prefers to live with Dad??

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    • November 26, 2020 at 9:16 pm #56059 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Has anyone had their child, specifically son aged 6-12, say they would prefer to live with their father majority of the time? But for silly reasons? His half brothers live with Dad, they have a dog & they are allowed to play computer games?
      This is my worst nightmare! Dad currently has son EOW but I’m so scared he will tell me he prefers living there due to above reasons.
      Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with it?

    • November 27, 2020 at 6:12 am #56066 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      No I haven’t had to deal with this. However, sometimes children think they know what they want (e.g., the reasons you gave above) but have no idea what they NEED (e.g., routine, stability and boundaries). A child of this age (especially at the younger end of the age bracket) is too young to decide. You need to remember who the parent is- i.e., you and your ex, not your child. Hopefully both parents can be on the same page when it comes to living arrangements. Let us know how you get on

    • November 27, 2020 at 8:02 am #56067 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      I have had this happen with one of my and it was terrible, however several years on and she has made requests over and over to live with whichever parent she is getting with (not arguing with!) at the time. Honestly, they do this. Just say no from the start, it’s not an option. When she was young we would say we had agreed the care arrangements with the court so it was law to follow them.

    • November 27, 2020 at 8:39 am #56074 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      Children go where fun is, they stay where love it.

    • November 28, 2020 at 8:23 am #56100 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      Love last post. It’s so true that young kids often make uneducated choices about where they want to live based on the fun factor and little else – who can blame them? Just give him a consistent message that he now lives between two homes and point out the good of both place so he feels happier with the arrangement. good luck

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