Hi all. My ex has filed for parenting orders. Our son is nearly two. Whilst I’m going to speak to my lawyer next week, I have a few questions: 1) Do I just write proposed interim orders for NOW? (i.e., toddler age). Cos what’s age appropriate now won’t work when he goes to school 2) When writing proposed interim orders, how do I factor in proposal to increase time/ longer blocks of time/overnight as child gets older?
I just fear that when we get to Court, the orders won’t take into account age & developmental stage so we’ll either be stuck with orders that won’t be practical in the future (& therefore need to be changed) or stuck with orders that might be appropriate for a school aged child but not a toddler with the view of stopping either of us going back to Court.
I know that the Court should decide what’s in the child’s best interest & that it doesn’t matter what either parent thinks or believes but I’m just struggling with knowing how much to include in proposed interim orders & how to communicate vision to increase time/longer blocks of time/overnights. I should add that we’ve been to mediation 3 times & that my ex is a narc dick (not just my opinion). In an ideal world I’d like to say “here are my proposals for next 2 years then review” but I know I’ll be in the same boat at review time (i.e., failed negotiation with a narc dick). Any suggestions before I see lawyer again?
Interim orders can be approved by the court as final orders. These orders can be fairly easily amended as your child grow and their needs change. Do what works for now, knowing they can be changed in the future.
I think you are worrying a little unnecessarily about this since all parenting orders are the same in that they are for children of a certain age who will grow and have different needs in the future. At that time you can go back to court (I think you might even be able to do it without court) and get them changed.
To add, if you start saying all of what you want now and then outline what you want in the future you might come across as too controlling. After all, we know our children’s needs change as they grow but we can’t pre-empt what those needs will be. Saying what you want too early could make it look like you are acting in your best interests and not those of your child. Not that I am saying you are, just might look that way 🙂