My ex & I separated about 6 months ago. There was lots of reasons but one of the main ones for me was he was caught out lying. About a month ago we decided to maybe give things another try. Over the weekend I found out he has been talking & messaging another girl. He says it’s just a friendship & I believe that physically nothing has happened but I feel sick thinking that he has this emotional connection with her. He told me when I confronted him that she is a nice escape from his reality & he has confided in her about our relationship to get her advice. I just feel like I can’t trust him. It’s not that he has a friend it’s the fact that he didn’t tell me about her & put a lock on his phone etc. Am I being ridiculous or is this really shady behaviour? Our relationship was already on thin ice from lies & deceitful behaviour from him.
Was he caught lying regarding a women or something else? Does he have many female friends? It’s hard to comment because it could be completely innocent but you are feeling worried from past behaviour. If that is the case, I would say he’s still in the wrong as he should be being extra careful, open and honest to win back your trust.
The original lies were not about another woman or have I ever suspected him of cheating on me. He has said straight out he never has or never would but even if he hasn’t met up with this girl I still feel a line has been crossed. He never told me about her & he has said they have had phone conversations & texting through Snapchat.
hun, he is cheating on you the fact that he is confiding with another woman putting a lock on his phone and lied to you about her that is already a proof that he is cheating not physically but emotionally. I don’t think that is okay because honestly, it is disrespect on your side. I don’t think there’s still a reason for you to stay as obviously he adores someone else than you.
I’m sorry but I tend to agree with the other ladies. My ex husband did the exact same thing, and he dismissed it when caught too, only I had been contacted by a colleague of the other woman. It started off innocently enough (except that he had hidden it) and by the time they were caught he was telling her he loved her and meeting up with her after work and before collecting my youngest child from daycare (she was my daughters daycare teacher). It is never innocent if they are hiding it! I was silly enough to stay 18 months after the fact, and now that we are separated I can see how naive I was about the whole thing!
I might be wrong based on just reading your post, but it sounds like emotional cheating to me. Unfortunately it tends to snowball into something bigger over time if you ignore the behaviour. It’s not ridiculous to be upset, I would feel the same way.