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This topic contains 8 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Avatar Anonymous 4 days, 13 hours ago.

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  • #21404 Reply
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    Anonymous

    My partner and I separated 3 weeks ago. He moved 300 ks away and also left without a job, has not contributed financially to our daughters care and says he won’t until he gets a job, even though he does cash jobs all the time, took the car and left me with all the debts. He has also met a new woman.
    He came to visit our daughter on Saturday and wanted to take her to meet his New woman. I said no. A) Because we agreed that if anyone new came into our lives we would meet them before our daughter, however he said no and won’t even tell me any details about her.B) our 3 year old still thinks daddy is coming home C) if I was that woman I would say it’s to early for me to meet your child, let’s see if the relationship works first, so I don’t really trust her judgement either.
    Was I being petty or protective when I refused his request?
    Our GP said it would confuse and upset her that H ed wait 3 to 6 months before introducing a new love interest.
    Thoughts?

  • #21410 Reply
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    Anonymous

    I don’t think you are being unreasonable. I would have said no too. Kids come first and whatever is in their best interest. I feel that would be too confusing for a child of that age.

  • #21414 Reply
    Lucy Good
    Lucy Good
    Keymaster

    I think I would have said no too, but you need to get some parenting plans in place to put rules around this works for both of you in the future.

  • #21424 Reply
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    Anonymous

    I would have said no too. I think a parent needs to meet the new partner before allowing their child anywhere near them. Definitely not petty. You have every right to know who your child is around at such a young age.

  • #21426 Reply
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    Anonymous

    I feel for you. My ex also took off with the car, leaving me to get around on foot with a then 2.5yo. It’s been rough. On the plus side, I’ve dropped close to 10kg since the split from walking everywhere and he got fat because he doesn’t know how to cook.

    I don’t think you’re being petty. It sounds like he’s trying to use your girl to impress his new lady. I’d want to know who my child is spending time with as well. Unfortunately all the legal advisors and counsellors I’ve spoken to have said I have no right to know who he spends time with or what he dies with our child on his time. I’m to trust his judgement unless there is a serious and legitimate reason not to. Sorry.

  • #21481 Reply
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    Gretel Digo
    Keymaster

    Not petty, yours is a legitimate concern. Definitely look into a parenting plan like the other posted said. This article might help:
    https://beanstalkmums.com.au/what-is-a-parenting-plan-and-what-should-i-include/

  • #21524 Reply
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    Anonymous

    I completely understand how you feel and you just want to protect your kids and you’re right it is too early for them to meet the new woman.

  • #21536 Reply
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    Anonymous

    From a legal perspective you have no right to dictate what he does in his time with your child. You cannot stop him form introducing his new partner. It’s just your opinion and you need to get over it.

  • #21548 Reply
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    Anonymous

    Thanks ladies for all your feedback. Saw a lawyer and social worker and they agree with my position, so now moving on to parenting orders.

Reply To: Am I being petty?
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