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Homepage Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum Beanstalk Single Mum Anonymous Forum Advice in hindsight of your separation experience?

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    • #23328 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      If you were to look back on your early separation days, what would be some advice you would offer to someone going through it or looking to go through it with small kids?

    • #23351 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Don’t be openly depressed and angry in front of your children and to get help earlier when not coping emotionally.

    • #23363 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Dont make excuses for the other parent. The earlier the kids start adjusting to the fact that he/shes not going to keep their promises, the more resilient they’ll become AND it wont damage your relationship with them.

    • #23377 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      Focus only on the things that matter .. that being you and your kids. Don’t waste time and negative energy on anyone or anything else.

    • #23379 Reply
      Lucy GoodLucy Good
      Keymaster

      Agree with last poster don’t waste energy on negative things. It’s easy to do this after a separation but is brings no reward.

    • #23440 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Definitely have a support system around and access to a therapist if necessary. All the best to you.

    • #23441 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Don’t stoop to their level even when you want to lash out.

    • #23442 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Oh and don’t let him get inside your head and make you feel “less than.”

    • #23998 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Apply for child support and centrelink straight away. They’ll only backpay to application date.

      Get a budget in order. Save money because those rainy days are coming.

      Let your children express their emotions and accept what they are feeling even if you don’t feel the same.

      Be a rock for the kids. Provide them with what they need even if the ex is meant to be providing it. Keep transitions between houses fun. Eg relaxed morning of reading and board games before they go.

      #1 tip- try your absolute best to be amicable with the ex. Be flexible, no bad-mouthing in front of the kids, be civil. The kids will do so much better if the adults are getting along.

    • #24057 Reply
      AvatarAnonymous
      Guest

      Agree with the badmouthing and fighting your ex in front of kids. It gave me so much anxiety when my parents did this when they split up.

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