One Sunday afternoon as I sat drinking white wine at the rustic outside table in the backyard with two girlfriends, my friend Bev had a suggestion.
“Why don’t we start a log book of the guys we go on dates with?”
That seemed like a logical thing to do, so next girly catch up she arrived, waving an A5 size scrapbook style book in her hand. “Three bucks fifty at OfficeWorks!” she proudly announced.
Bev was the one who was more into crossing the t’s and dotting the i’s so not surprisingly she had also brought with her a ruler and some pencils of various led thicknesses. After a sip of the wine she proceeded to beautifully rule up the book.
She created 5 columns which were headed:
- Who dated him
- General Notes
- Green, Amber or Red
We backtracked a bit, trying to remember who had gone out with or been in touch with who over the past couple of weeks as we had all become more active on the dating scene. Two of us were single Mum’s with kids under 12, so we were fussy about who we were going to date and they had to be pretty brilliant to even consider letting them into our lives in any meaningful way.
My friend, Kath, had no kids and had no intention to have kids, so she was looking for a guy that ideally had no kids and didn’t want any. Her priority was a guy who could keep up with her in the bedroom. Bev liked guys that were a bit more serious than my type of guy. Even though we all had our own preferences it turned out once we started tracking them, we discovered there was some crossover in who was in touch with who.
One of the early entries in the book was a guy that I had been on a few dates with. He was shaping up to possibly be a keeper.
David’s entry read:
- Netboy (he was called net boy because he was the first ‘good one’ we had met online (this is quite a few years ago when online dating was still taking off, was still a novelty with such stigma)
- The notes said he was divorced after 20 years, had 2 girls, played guitar, was quirky, nice, kind, gentle, financially secure and could cook
- Sexing: yes and pretty good
Kath made an entry about a guy who seemed great on the phone and looked great in his pictures but in person looked exactly like a comic book pirate. His hair was black and long and he had a round pirate earring. He became ‘Pirate Boy’. Kathy said when she questioned why he looked so different than his pics he just said “yeah, I’ve changed a bit since then”.
Bev made an entry for ‘Danger Boy”. She had joined a dating agency called ‘It’s Just Lunch’. As the name suggests, they match people up to go on lunch dates. Turns out the guy she got was not even close to being over his ex wife. He ranted and raved in an angry manner for an hour about how she had ripped him off and how if he ever sees the bitch again he will make her regret ever knowing him. Bev reported him to the agency and the entry in the book reflected the RED NO GO zone that was Danger Boy.
Other entries included: Pilot Boy, Numbers Man, Tiny Tim (he got a yes on 4 from Bev but that’s also where he got the nickname from), Money Boy (he turned out to be a scammer), Greyhound, Porsche Boy, Liar Boy (we found out he had 3 girls on the go and Tattoo Man.
Our experiences and types of guys were broad and varied but there was one thing we had vowed to ourselves and each other and that was to have fun on the journey. Yes we were all searching for our Mr Amazing but we found by not taking things too seriously, dating wasn’t a chore.
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Although some might accuse us of making fun of the guys (ok, so maybe be were a bit), we also set a goal to learn something new on each date and to go in with a mindset of adventure and personal growth. Granted, some of the experiences, such as Danger Boy, were not ones that any of us wanted to experience again.
We kept the log book for years until eventually Bev moved house and asked me what we should do with it. I said throw it away, although I wish now we hadn’t. There were over 50 entries in there by the time we stopped writing in it.
And the cool part is, the Green, Amber, Red decision making system is now part of the online course I created to help women to find their Mr Amazing…faster! I combined my wealth of dating experience and my work around coaching and truth and lies and now I help women avoid the ‘Danger Boys’ or the heartbreakers and time wasters.
As a woman and a Mum who was on and off the singles and dating scene for over 12 years and now helps women to find a great partner with less of the heartache…Here’s a tip:
Have fun with it! Don’t take yourself or the dating process too seriously and believe that if you keep exploring, keep growing, and keep believing that your Mr. (or your Miss) Amazing will appear when the time is perfectly right.